Tired, weary and full of joy!

September 20, 2025September 22, 2025 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1 NLT

“…Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” Nehemiah 8:10 NLT

What started 31 months ago was about to end. We were just 18 short days away. I was sitting on the back row with my sweet daddy, listening intently. I felt the shift and knew the ending wasn’t coming in 18 days after all.

Six months just got added to our wait. Surprisingly, I was not as torn up as I thought I would be. Really, what is six more months when you have been waiting for thirty one. That my friends is what God can do when you give it all to Him.

When the bottom fell out 31 months ago I was a dejected human. I let the enemy take hold of me for a bit. BUT GOD! He was there waiting for me and when I took hold of Him my zest for life came back. I have total faith in Him. He is bigger than the mess, bigger than the enemy and He is taking all this and turning it for His good.

That verse in Nehemiah says the joy of the Lord is my strength. I let God’s joy be my source of strength, not my circumstances. That is what that verse means! When you are down let God fill you up. Depend on Him not the circumstances of life. Put your full faith and trust in God alone.

God is our refuge and strength at all times, but especially in times of trouble. Through this trial He has been a refuge for me. He has given me strength when I didn’t think I could handle another hit. He has made me strong and fierce. Every single time I have had to do something for this trial I have felt Him. He has given me so much strength.

Yes, I have grown tired and some days I am weary, but nothing can steal my joy! It comes from the Lord ALONE, not my circumstances. God’s power is omnipotent (ALL POWERFUL). The enemy’s power is limited and he can’t steal what he hasn’t given you!

There is a saying that says your day will go the way the corners of your mouth are turned. Are you smiling or frowning through life? Are you going through life with a positive attitude or a negative one? Where is your focus?

I wake up and can’t wait to walk out of my bedroom and see the sun rising through my front door. I grab a cup of coffee, my Bible and go watch it rise the rest of the way. It brings me joy! My little 9 mile drive to work can take over 20 minutes somedays, because I creep along my country road watching wildlife and being mesmerized.

Try going through a day with wonder and awe of all that is around you. Look up and tell God “thank you I love it”. Go to park, leave your phone in your car and go sit in the grass. Listen to the birds sing. Gaze at the clouds. Soak up the sun. Dance in the rain. Soak up God’s creation with childlike wonder. It will perk you right up.

I can now say that I am grateful for this trial because through it I have grown so close to God! He is my number 1 always and forever. I start my day with Him. I go to Him during my day. I end my day with Him. I do everything with Him in mind.

As a young teen I always looked up to my Mema and Mother Russell. They were such amazing Godly women. It was always one of them that would pray at family gatherings. They could quote scripture and turn right to what they were looking for in their Bibles. They were kind to everyone. They were forgiving and compassionate. I wanted to be them when I grew up. For the first time in my life I can proudly say I am making progress at being like them.

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” Isaiah 40:29 NIV

He gives strength to the weary. When we become exhausted from the battles of life God gives us strength. When we are at our weakest, God can sustain us! God has compassion for us and He wants us to lean on Him. He wants to be our source of strength.

He increases the power of the weak. God does not leave us vulnerable, He instead empowers us and give us divine strength to face our battles. He wants us to trust in Him during the difficulties of life. God’s power is limitless! He wants us to trust in Him at ALL times.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9 NIV

This verse reminds me to focus on doing good. Through this difficult trial I have felt God redirect me from worrying over all the “what ifs” to focusing on the reason He brought us back to Kentucky. He did not bring me here to get lost in worry, anxiousness, depression and sadness. He brought me here to do good for our community, bring others to know him and live life to the fullest.

I find joy in serving my community! Today we served 341 meals to our community. It brings me delight to prepare and serve lunch to our community. Today I also dropped off a bag full of Period Packs for one of our teachers at the high school. Tomorrow our Food Pantry will be open all day. I will bring fresh eggs and watermelon from the farm and add them to the boxes.

Those things bring the JOY and those things are where God wants me to focus. He is working on the trial and He will let me know if He needs something from me.

We reap a harvest when we do not give up! Always focus on God and His will for your life. Focus on doing good and loving others well. Strive to make a positive impact on those you encounter. Be persistent in focusing on God and telling the enemy to get away from you! Our reward will be will be awesome!

My goal is to get to the end of fully lived life and have God say to me: “My joyful warrior you did good! You lived big, you served well and you left nothing in your tank”!

100 Days

June 20, 2025June 20, 2025 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

For the past couple of months I randomly saw this book, Resilient Hope by Christine Caine pop up on Facebook. A few days ago I was placing an Amazon order and there it was again— so I bought it.

It came this afternoon. I grabbed the book and went to sit on the porch. I was reading the back cover & noticed it was a 100 day devotional.

My 1st thought was to start it on July 1st. My 2nd thought was what is 100 days from today?

Sunday, September 28, 2025 is 100 days from today! I laughed and say out loud “I see you there God”!

When I talk to God I’m always asking him to show me the way, point me in the right direction or give me a sign.

This book coming today. Me actually taking it outside to look at it before throwing it in my pile of books I need to read. All God!

100 days from today Kevin and I will go to bed and wake up to a long awaited trial date. 100 days from today this hard fought battle will be coming to an end. 100 days from now God will be showing off. Just 100 more days!

I have 100 more days to grow my enduring faith in God! To have resilient hope that He is turning all things for His good! Thank you God I love it!

The introduction of this book had me in the first paragraph. Christine loves the Olympics and so do I. She is telling a story about an Olympian with great endurance and even brings up Hebrews 12. A passage I have loved since I was teen. A passage that took on new meaning when we began this battle.

Hebrews 12:1-3 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.”

Endurance- the ability or strength to continue despite fatigue, stress or other adverse conditions.

Faith-complete trust in someone (God)

Enduring faith is what I have in God. He is in the middle of all this and He is working. I need only to pray and praise.

Day 1 is called Marvelous Faith. It’s about the centurion in Luke 7 that Jesus was marveled by his faith. I want to get to heaven someday and Jesus say “this one has faith like that centurion”.

I want Him to be able to say she fearlessly stood up to the giant because she knew I was standing with her!

Built on the Rock

June 13, 2025June 13, 2025 / Kelly Bea / 2 Comments

Why do we ever doubt how amazingly spectacular our God is? Just why?

I think its so not much that I doubt him, but I have questioned: Why? How much longer? Do you hear my cries? Is there an end in site? Are you there God? We humans are such an impatient bunch of people.

I have to remind myself: 2 Peter 3:8-9 “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.”

I started a new Bible Study this week on the book of Habakkuk. Who knew 3 little chapters could pack such a punch. Habakkuk is crying out to God asking why he is silent? He is questioning how good can God be if he is allowing so much evil and hate in the world. One of the main points of Habakkuk is that we must exercise faith in the face of chaos. Let the darkness in your world be an invitation to put even more faith in our awesome God and trust His timing.

This morning as I was heading out to the porch to spend some time with Him he gave me a little wink. I looked up as I was opening the backdoor. That’s when I magically saw through the paint, trim and sheetrock and remembered the verse written on stud above that door I was about to walk out: “His mercies are new every morning”, Lamentations 3:23

A smile came to my face as I thanked God for reminding me my home is literally covered in His word! Family and friends stopped by and took the time to write His word on our house. Friends that couldn’t come text me specific verses to write on our home. I even saw a few verses written by the guys that were part of building our home.

I felt this little wink from God was not only a reminder, but God saying “I see you”. I see you going out this door every morning and soaking up my word. I see you talking to me throughout your day. I see you not letting this trail consume you because you know I have you. He is so sweet to assure me again and again that He is with me.

After my time with him this morning I grabbed my phone and started looking at those verses covering our house. I zoomed in to read some of them. I laughed because some of the verses appropriately matched the room they were written in.

My Aunt Jean wrote “The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still”.

This morning I thanked God that our house was built on the rock! In 2021 we took a leap with Him. We left what we thought was our forever home in Alabama, our boys, our secure jobs and 18 years of friendships to follow His promptings and come back to our farm in Kentucky. We prayed and listened to him with each step we have taken on this journey. We have let Him be our guide and we will continue to trust Him on this journey.

Matthew 7:24-27 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

Suck it satan! You can bring on the rains, the floods, the winds and try to beat us down. IT WON’T HAPPEN! I am built on the rock! My husband is built on the rock! Our home is built on the rock and our farm is built on the rock! My trust is in the Lord!

I have no words…

May 14, 2025May 14, 2025 / Kelly Bea / 1 Comment

I go outside to feel closer to God. Why? I can’t tell you why. I only know when I am outside surrounded by His creation I feel Him more. I can hear Him in the birds singing their songs. I see Him in the clouds dancing across the azure blue skies. I see Him in sunrises & sunsets as he paints the sky. I can feel Him when the wind blows, the snow falls and rain sprinkles.

Outside there are no distractions. No hum of electricity coming from the things in your house. No TV blaring. No house that says “clean me”. No dust bunnies hopping across the floor reminding you to dustmop. Outside it is just you and all of God’s creation.

Today the words weren’t coming and I thought maybe if I go outside they would. They did not! I said out loud to God, “I can’t find the words today God. I need you. I am desperate, but the words aren’t coming.”

In that moment the tears began to flow as I felt Him all around me. It was like the birds got louder, the sun got brighter and the wind tickled my face. I just let it all out as I soaked up His embrace.

After a few minutes I said, “God that is all I got today, but I promise I am going to get up and go be your JOYFUL WARRIOR!”.

Lamentations 3: 21-24 says “Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this. The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore I will hope in Him.”

Those verses are so good and give me such hope! God’s love and faithfulness will NEVER end! He is faithful to bring judgement and faithful to bring restoration. He provides all we need.

My study Bible said the faithful love of the Lord is the basis for the poets recovery from deep depression. I can relate to this. It’s because of my faith I am able to live with joy during this difficult time.

It’s been 26 months and 26 days since I was betrayed by someone I loved my whole life. Sadly, the hit that came that day was only the beginning. It continued to get worse and worse.

Since that day my emotions have run the gamut from confusion & hurt to finding my joy again. I worked very hard to find and keep my joy. Most days it is easy, but there are days when everything hits all at once. That feeling of overwhelm takes over and tries its hardest to pull me into the darkness.

That is why I am so grateful I have God. I stay tethered tightly to him through prayer, conversation and His word. He alone keeps me living fully and with a heart of joy.

I know God is working hard in all this. He can take what the devil intends for harm and make it outstandingly wonderful.

I know I have been changed because of this trail. I am closer to God now than I ever have been. Would that be the case if this didn’t happen?

If you look back on our journey we are back in Kentucky because we trusted God and took a huge leap of faith. Quitting our jobs, leaving our boys and the life we created in Alabama and relocating to our farm. We had no clue what we would do when we got here. We just listened to God.

Looking back I see how I was overly excited about building our little farmhouse. Did that distract me from the reason He brought us here? Did we steer off course? Is He using this to pull us back? Is He using us to bring someone back to Him? Is He teaching someone not to put things of this Earth above Him? Is He using this to show His mighty power? All could be a possibility!

I might not ever understand the why? That is okay! I can already see the good coming from it. I see God changing my heart and molding me into the girl He created me to be. He is showing me what is and is not important. He has given me a heart of service and shown me where I can serve. He is showing me how to shine bright for him.

I think He is working on the person who hurt us, too. To be honest I get a lot of kickback when I mention this to some. I always grin and say “our God is the God of the impossible”!

Luke 1:37 “With God nothing is impossible”.

Luke 18:27 “the things which are impossible with men, are possible with God”.

Back to having no words. Just remember when we don’t have the words, God still knows because the Holy Spirit living in our hearts is a direct line to Him..

Romans 8:26-28 says “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them”.

So when the words don’t come, go to Him anyway. When you don’t understand, go to Him anyway. Trust fully in Him.

Preparing us for battle

August 13, 2021August 13, 2021 / Kelly Bea / 4 Comments

About a 2 weeks before our house was supposed to go on the market our agent called and suggested moving up our dates by one week. She mentioned that anyone wanting their child to start school in a district would need to be “under contract” to register their child for school and if we moved the dates up a week it could open us up to more buyers. The thought of having one less week to get our “to do” list done was really scary, but after talking it over we decided to go for it and see what happened.

To be honest we were still in disbelief that the house was going on the market. Disbelief that this was really happening. As long as it is a few weeks away its not real, right? Still just in dream phase–still preparing for the future.

Two days later were having dinner with Eric celebrating him turning 21. Near the end of the dinner my husbands phone rang and he looked down and saw it was our niece calling. He gave me that look–the one that says she always text unless something is happening. He decided to walk outside and talk to her. After about 10 minutes and him not coming back I knew something was up so I paid the bill and we headed out to find him. He was still on the phone and I could see in his face something was not quite right.

Eric and I were off to the side talking when Kevin hung up and walked over to us. I can still see the look on his face when he told us that his mom had cancer. I grabbed him and gave him a hug. Hearing that type of news is always shocking and I was shocked, but I also was like WOW?!?

You might wonder where the wow is coming from? It’s coming from– Wow! God, I see it all so clearly now! You were preparing us for a battle. You were getting us strong and ready. You knew Betty was going to need us and NOW not a year from now. He was making this happen on His timeline and thankfully we trusted Him and were going for it. I was grateful that we were at a place in our life where our faith was strong and willingness to take a leap with big. Just 7 short weeks ago we were looking at a picture of the farm on the tv and beginning to dream. Look what He did in that time to be sure we would be on our way to Kentucky. What He did to make sure Betty had two more family members by her side and helping her battle through this. Thank you God, we love it.

After talking for a few minutes we all 3 drove home in separate cars. I was talking to God the entire time. I was thanking Him for filling our minds with dreams of the farm, for giving us the signs to trust Him and go for this dream. For making things happen to move our timeline up to be able to be there for Betty. I was asking Him to wrap His arms around Betty and show us what we can do to be there for her. I questioned why I was feeling relief? Like where is this feeling coming from, but I realized the relief was in the fact that we will be there with her through all this. I thanked Him for making this possible. When someone is sick and/or going through something difficult nothing is better than having a support system around them. Now Betty would have her son with her. Yes, she will have a few other family members around for her, but Kevin is her baby and knowing he is there will be really good for her.

Our drive home is a good 30 minutes or more so we both had plenty of time to pray and think about everything. Kevin and I both we just in awe of how this was playing out. He truly was preparing us and we are so grateful that we will be in Kentucky with Betty when she needs us most.

Dreaming…

August 4, 2021July 31, 2021 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

We went to bed dreaming that night and woke up day dreaming the next day. Both of us would come home from work and talk about the farm. We couldn’t get it out of our minds at all. I felt like we were little kids who’s parents just told them they where they going for vacation and all they could do is dream about the things they were going to do. That was us! Dreaming of being on the farm, being close to our family again, dreaming of what kind of living we could make on the farm.

Kevin’s dad bought that farm piece by piece in his younger years. He worked the land, hunted the land, got the land involved in government and TVA programs and loved the farm. He was so proud of that farm. Kevin’s brother loved that farm, too. Kevin lost his brother in 2011 and his dad in 2016. When Kevin is there he feels close to them and the memories of his childhood are more vivid.

I am country girl. I was raised in Farmersville, Kentucky. I love having the dirt between my toes, playing in the creek, finding a quiet spot and watching the animals go about their day. Give me a shade tree and good book and I am a happy girl.

If you would of asked as a year and half ago if we would ever move back to Kentucky we would of blurted out NO in a heartbeat. We just never felt the need to go back home. What changed? We aren’t really sure. Covid happened and that sure did change a lot of things. It definitely changed our perspective on few things. Both our boys moved out in 2020 making us empty nesters. My husband is very much ready for a career change. I am always up for an adventure. Our parents are older and being closer to them would be nice.

After of week of this dream not leaving our minds EVER, we decided to tell our moms and see what they thought. My mom said she always knew we’d be back someday and Kevin’s mom was shocked. She said she figured our son Baily would end up on the farm, but not us. We told them we don’t know when or if it will happen, but we think we really want it to happen so telling them makes it real and we know having them praying for it to happen can only help.

My husband had just turned 49 so we decided to make it a goal to be on our way to the farm by the time he was 50. That gives us a full year to really know if this is where God is leading us. A full year to figure out letting go of our home and jobs here and starting new in Kentucky. A year for our boys and friends here in Alabama to get use to the idea.