Tired, weary and full of joy!

September 20, 2025September 22, 2025 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1 NLT

“…Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” Nehemiah 8:10 NLT

What started 31 months ago was about to end. We were just 18 short days away. I was sitting on the back row with my sweet daddy, listening intently. I felt the shift and knew the ending wasn’t coming in 18 days after all.

Six months just got added to our wait. Surprisingly, I was not as torn up as I thought I would be. Really, what is six more months when you have been waiting for thirty one. That my friends is what God can do when you give it all to Him.

When the bottom fell out 31 months ago I was a dejected human. I let the enemy take hold of me for a bit. BUT GOD! He was there waiting for me and when I took hold of Him my zest for life came back. I have total faith in Him. He is bigger than the mess, bigger than the enemy and He is taking all this and turning it for His good.

That verse in Nehemiah says the joy of the Lord is my strength. I let God’s joy be my source of strength, not my circumstances. That is what that verse means! When you are down let God fill you up. Depend on Him not the circumstances of life. Put your full faith and trust in God alone.

God is our refuge and strength at all times, but especially in times of trouble. Through this trial He has been a refuge for me. He has given me strength when I didn’t think I could handle another hit. He has made me strong and fierce. Every single time I have had to do something for this trial I have felt Him. He has given me so much strength.

Yes, I have grown tired and some days I am weary, but nothing can steal my joy! It comes from the Lord ALONE, not my circumstances. God’s power is omnipotent (ALL POWERFUL). The enemy’s power is limited and he can’t steal what he hasn’t given you!

There is a saying that says your day will go the way the corners of your mouth are turned. Are you smiling or frowning through life? Are you going through life with a positive attitude or a negative one? Where is your focus?

I wake up and can’t wait to walk out of my bedroom and see the sun rising through my front door. I grab a cup of coffee, my Bible and go watch it rise the rest of the way. It brings me joy! My little 9 mile drive to work can take over 20 minutes somedays, because I creep along my country road watching wildlife and being mesmerized.

Try going through a day with wonder and awe of all that is around you. Look up and tell God “thank you I love it”. Go to park, leave your phone in your car and go sit in the grass. Listen to the birds sing. Gaze at the clouds. Soak up the sun. Dance in the rain. Soak up God’s creation with childlike wonder. It will perk you right up.

I can now say that I am grateful for this trial because through it I have grown so close to God! He is my number 1 always and forever. I start my day with Him. I go to Him during my day. I end my day with Him. I do everything with Him in mind.

As a young teen I always looked up to my Mema and Mother Russell. They were such amazing Godly women. It was always one of them that would pray at family gatherings. They could quote scripture and turn right to what they were looking for in their Bibles. They were kind to everyone. They were forgiving and compassionate. I wanted to be them when I grew up. For the first time in my life I can proudly say I am making progress at being like them.

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” Isaiah 40:29 NIV

He gives strength to the weary. When we become exhausted from the battles of life God gives us strength. When we are at our weakest, God can sustain us! God has compassion for us and He wants us to lean on Him. He wants to be our source of strength.

He increases the power of the weak. God does not leave us vulnerable, He instead empowers us and give us divine strength to face our battles. He wants us to trust in Him during the difficulties of life. God’s power is limitless! He wants us to trust in Him at ALL times.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9 NIV

This verse reminds me to focus on doing good. Through this difficult trial I have felt God redirect me from worrying over all the “what ifs” to focusing on the reason He brought us back to Kentucky. He did not bring me here to get lost in worry, anxiousness, depression and sadness. He brought me here to do good for our community, bring others to know him and live life to the fullest.

I find joy in serving my community! Today we served 341 meals to our community. It brings me delight to prepare and serve lunch to our community. Today I also dropped off a bag full of Period Packs for one of our teachers at the high school. Tomorrow our Food Pantry will be open all day. I will bring fresh eggs and watermelon from the farm and add them to the boxes.

Those things bring the JOY and those things are where God wants me to focus. He is working on the trial and He will let me know if He needs something from me.

We reap a harvest when we do not give up! Always focus on God and His will for your life. Focus on doing good and loving others well. Strive to make a positive impact on those you encounter. Be persistent in focusing on God and telling the enemy to get away from you! Our reward will be will be awesome!

My goal is to get to the end of fully lived life and have God say to me: “My joyful warrior you did good! You lived big, you served well and you left nothing in your tank”!

100 Days

June 20, 2025June 20, 2025 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

For the past couple of months I randomly saw this book, Resilient Hope by Christine Caine pop up on Facebook. A few days ago I was placing an Amazon order and there it was again— so I bought it.

It came this afternoon. I grabbed the book and went to sit on the porch. I was reading the back cover & noticed it was a 100 day devotional.

My 1st thought was to start it on July 1st. My 2nd thought was what is 100 days from today?

Sunday, September 28, 2025 is 100 days from today! I laughed and say out loud “I see you there God”!

When I talk to God I’m always asking him to show me the way, point me in the right direction or give me a sign.

This book coming today. Me actually taking it outside to look at it before throwing it in my pile of books I need to read. All God!

100 days from today Kevin and I will go to bed and wake up to a long awaited trial date. 100 days from today this hard fought battle will be coming to an end. 100 days from now God will be showing off. Just 100 more days!

I have 100 more days to grow my enduring faith in God! To have resilient hope that He is turning all things for His good! Thank you God I love it!

The introduction of this book had me in the first paragraph. Christine loves the Olympics and so do I. She is telling a story about an Olympian with great endurance and even brings up Hebrews 12. A passage I have loved since I was teen. A passage that took on new meaning when we began this battle.

Hebrews 12:1-3 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.”

Endurance- the ability or strength to continue despite fatigue, stress or other adverse conditions.

Faith-complete trust in someone (God)

Enduring faith is what I have in God. He is in the middle of all this and He is working. I need only to pray and praise.

Day 1 is called Marvelous Faith. It’s about the centurion in Luke 7 that Jesus was marveled by his faith. I want to get to heaven someday and Jesus say “this one has faith like that centurion”.

I want Him to be able to say she fearlessly stood up to the giant because she knew I was standing with her!

Built on the Rock

June 13, 2025June 13, 2025 / Kelly Bea / 2 Comments

Why do we ever doubt how amazingly spectacular our God is? Just why?

I think its so not much that I doubt him, but I have questioned: Why? How much longer? Do you hear my cries? Is there an end in site? Are you there God? We humans are such an impatient bunch of people.

I have to remind myself: 2 Peter 3:8-9 “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.”

I started a new Bible Study this week on the book of Habakkuk. Who knew 3 little chapters could pack such a punch. Habakkuk is crying out to God asking why he is silent? He is questioning how good can God be if he is allowing so much evil and hate in the world. One of the main points of Habakkuk is that we must exercise faith in the face of chaos. Let the darkness in your world be an invitation to put even more faith in our awesome God and trust His timing.

This morning as I was heading out to the porch to spend some time with Him he gave me a little wink. I looked up as I was opening the backdoor. That’s when I magically saw through the paint, trim and sheetrock and remembered the verse written on stud above that door I was about to walk out: “His mercies are new every morning”, Lamentations 3:23

A smile came to my face as I thanked God for reminding me my home is literally covered in His word! Family and friends stopped by and took the time to write His word on our house. Friends that couldn’t come text me specific verses to write on our home. I even saw a few verses written by the guys that were part of building our home.

I felt this little wink from God was not only a reminder, but God saying “I see you”. I see you going out this door every morning and soaking up my word. I see you talking to me throughout your day. I see you not letting this trail consume you because you know I have you. He is so sweet to assure me again and again that He is with me.

After my time with him this morning I grabbed my phone and started looking at those verses covering our house. I zoomed in to read some of them. I laughed because some of the verses appropriately matched the room they were written in.

My Aunt Jean wrote “The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still”.

This morning I thanked God that our house was built on the rock! In 2021 we took a leap with Him. We left what we thought was our forever home in Alabama, our boys, our secure jobs and 18 years of friendships to follow His promptings and come back to our farm in Kentucky. We prayed and listened to him with each step we have taken on this journey. We have let Him be our guide and we will continue to trust Him on this journey.

Matthew 7:24-27 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

Suck it satan! You can bring on the rains, the floods, the winds and try to beat us down. IT WON’T HAPPEN! I am built on the rock! My husband is built on the rock! Our home is built on the rock and our farm is built on the rock! My trust is in the Lord!

Jesus is my Scarecrow

May 1, 2025May 1, 2025 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

I have been doing a Bible Study about dying to self and living for Christ. Isn’t that the ultimate goal? When we are saved–we need to let our old self die and work each day to live for Christ. To seek His will above all else.

It reminds me of springtime and getting the garden ready. It’s good to till up your garden spot, then let the weeds come back and burn them off. It’s a controlled burn that kills off the weeds before they have a chance to take root.

I have felt a very strong pull to cultivate my garden this year. I have let some weeds take over certain areas of life and God has been convicting me to prune myself. To become more of Him and less of me.

Satan works hard to keep the weeds growing in our garden. He can take our sinful thoughts & actions and makes them look pretty. Just like all the goldenrods covering farmland in Kentucky right now. It’s beautiful to see, but they are weeds! The farmers are about to spray the fields, kill the weeds and plant the seeds.

Satan is the master manipulator. Jeremiah 17:9 says “the human heart is the most deceitful of all things; and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is”. WOAH! That’s harsh!

BUT if you read a couple verses before and after you see that Jeremiah says that when we put our trust in God He can guide our hearts, search our hearts and cleanse our hearts. God is the answer to keep the weeds out of our garden.

Next we learn in Mark 8: 34-37 that to follow Him we have to deny ourselves. We have to stop walking around in the weeds. Time to prune our garden and let God determine what we grow. To experience the abundant life God has for us we must let go of our old sinful ways and follow Him.

In Colossians 3 Paul breaks it down into two parts for us. One is all the sinful things we need to remove from our garden and the other are the Godly things we need to add to our garden. Verse 5 begins by telling us to put to death our sinful nature. This is not a one and done thing we do when we are saved. We are to be constantly pruning our garden. We must keep killing the sin that springs up in our garden. When we take a break from pruning our garden those weeds weave through our garden and take over in the blink of an eye.

Verses 12-15 show us what we need to always grow in our garden– “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.“

Romans 12:1 tells us to give our bodies to God as living sacrifices. When we do this it is the ultimate way to worship God. Each time we live for the Lord over our worldly desires we are worshiping Him. We will always battle between God and worldly things, but each time we choose God we are worshiping him. Doesn’t that sound amazing! I imagine myself in the garden praising Him.

And that brings us walking by the spirit. Galatians 5: 16-26 is what I have been diving into lately. I must share that I love the passion translation of these verses. Paul again gives us two lists. One is acts of the flesh and one is attributes of living a Godly life. The two lives are not compatible. If we are walking in the spirit we know this battle well. In verse 16 Paul reminds us that when we let the Holy Spirit guide our lives we won’t give into our sinful desires as much.

There will still be battles playing out in our garden, but the spirit gives us the upper hand by convicting us of sin, strengthening us to resist temptation and pursue Christ’s path over our own.

My study Bible describes walking by the spirit as walking with a friend, but the friend is the God. When he is walking alongside us we tend to not want to carry out worldly desires.

Being me I see it like this—I am the garden and in the center of my garden is Jesus. Jesus is my scarecrow. He is always there—his watch never ends. He is always on guard and ready to alert me of danger. And when I am intune with Him the enemy doesn’t stand a chance of getting my garden.

Now back to those list. In verses 19-21 we learn about acts of the flesh. The list includes sexual immorality, lustful thoughts, pornography, chasing things instead of God, hatred towards others, senseless arguments, resentment, temper tantrums, angry quarrels, only thinking of yourself, being in love with your own opinions, being envious of the blessings of others, murder, uncontrolled addictions and wild parties. Ouch! I see some things I need to weed. How about you?

Here is another big OUCH– the end of verse 21 says “ Haven’t I already warned you that those who use their freedom for these things WILL NOT inherit the kingdom of God”. I grew up believing once saved always saved, but Paul clearly says do these things and you aren’t going to spend eternity with God in heaven.

This gave me pause! I think we all have had senseless arguments, been envious of someone or haven’t been the nicest to someone. Let’s be real, I have been to a few wild parties in my life!

My study bible says that people living that sort of life are a slave to sin and not living by the spirit. If we choose to live a life where we are continually sinning and not seeking repentance it is clear we are not a true follower of God. BUT when we truly trust God and desire to walk with Him we do not have to worry. Of course we will fall short sometimes, but weeding and pruning shows him how much we desire to be with Him for eternity.

Okay let’s get back to cultivating our Garden! Paul gives us a 2nd list–attributes of living a Godly life. Verses 22-23 in the passion translation are just so sweet…

“But the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit within you is
divine love in all its varied expressions,
Joy that overflows
Peace that subdues
Patience that endures
Kindness in action
A life full of virtue
Faith that prevails
Gentleness of heart and
Strength of spirit.”

Wow! What a marvelous garden we can have with these attributes in the forefront of our lives. Let’s take a look at each one…

Divine love…loving God and loving people are two of the most important things we can do in life. A love that is free of judgement. Jesus loved and died for the very people that crucified Him. We need to love like that.

Joy that overflows… Paul connects joy & gratefulness to prayer. When we are in constant prayer & communication with God we can find true joy no matter our circumstances. A joy that overflows in all parts of our lives.

Peace that subdues… When we are rooted in God we can experience this kind of peace. It’s a piece that says I trust you with everything Lord. Just like the birds that don’t worry where their next meal is coming from and plants in the garden that know Jesus will feed them.. They just know the Lord will provide.

Patience that endures.. Patience controls our responses. Patience is having steadfastness, endurance, perseverance and consistency. Patience says take a deep breath (or two) and then respond.

Kindness in action… I read that kindness was patience taking to the next level. We choose to go out of our way to speak and live with love.

A life full of virtue… we can show others how good our God is by being so so good to those around us. Just like Jesus was when he walked this earth.

Faith that prevails.. All we need is faith the size of a mustard seed, but think what he can do when we have the faith of Abraham. Can you imagine the faith it took to be willing to sacrifice your child. The people around you are watching. They want to see what we do in a trial or difficult time. Be faithful because God might be using us to turn a heart of stone into a heart for God.

Gentleness of heart.. A few synonyms for gentle are soothing, mellow, soft, mild, delicate and light. This makes me think of my favorite comfy blankie. When Jesus walked this earth he was all of these things for everyone he met. We need to be a comfy blanket of gentleness for others.

Strength of spirit… (SELF CONTROL) we all face temptation–even Jesus did. Jesus knew his purpose and He walked in his purpose. This helped him have self-control to say no to temptation. He knew his purpose was more important than temporary pleasure. As we battle against overeating, gossipping or whatever sin we struggle with, let’s remember to lean into the Holy Spirit. Let him guide us away from sin and gain control over the enemy.

Here we are at the end of this devotion and feel like I said a whole lot.

The main takeaway is that we can never get lazy.

Our gardens must constantly be weeded to keep sin at bay.
We must never stop watering our garden: Soak up His Word to keep our gardens flourishing.
We need to feed our garden good fertilizer: Spend time in prayer with our father in heaven.
We need to constantly be cultivating our garden: Live by the fruits of spirit
Every garden has to be harvested: Take all those good fruits and share them with others. Take those bad fruits and send them back to hell.
Make sure JESUS IS THE SCARECROW in the center of our gardens. Let us always sing our praises to him for he is the ultimate partner and guardian.

What are you clinging to?

April 10, 2025April 10, 2025 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

6:30AM ALARM BLARRING I wake up to a lovely little migraine. I tell myself to turn the alarm off, take some meds and stay in bed today. Just as I am about to give in to that I realize it’s Thursday! Thursday is my morning to lead Big Life Mornings on zoom.

I begrudgingly get up and tell myself, “just go get through the zoom and go back to bed”.

That was my plan! Actually, that was the plan I let the enemy put in my head.

I grab a double espresso to help with migraine and head to my room and get on zoom. I am feeling very disoriented this morning. My spirits are low and I’m blaming the migraine and my allergies.

I make it through morning routine and turn my video off. I told myself it was so I could listen to Pamela’s devo without distraction, but lets be honest I really wanted to lay my head back down and rest a few minutes.

This is where the extraordinary happens! No sooner than I lay my head back Pamela says “why does God allow us to struggle? Why the continual battle, when he could end every conflict with one word? Boom. It could all be over. It could literally disappear just like that. But it doesn’t because he doesn’t. Why is that?”

I was totally engrossed in devotional. Fully listening, taking notes and absorbing everything. I wanted to know why? Where is Pamela going with this? Knowing her I knew she was about to blow my mind.

And that is where the enemy decided I had heard enough! I lost sound. I left zoom and came back in still no sound. I text the morning crew asking if anyone else couldn’t hear her. All good on their end. Not wanting to miss anymore of the devotional I grabbed my phone, got on our Facebook page and listened from there.

Fortunately, all was good on there and I had only missed a minute or two. Not today satan! Pamela talked of Joseph and how boring his story would have been if his life was hunky-dory. Instead he faced many trails. God used each one of those trails for good.

In Genesis 50:20 Joseph said, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

Pamela said God waste NOTHING! He will take everything we are going through and use it for His glory. He will make it good. Joseph’s story is a great story. He went through a lot, but he had God with him. He clung to God during his trails and was able to keep his joy and have peace. He clung to God and felt His arms of comfort in difficult times.

God was with him during the beginning, middle and end of his story. He was in the pretty and the ugly. Joseph was able to find pretty in the ugly because he was clinging to God. Who are you clinging to?

Oh my soul! I was overcome with emotion. I woke up this morning with the enemy in my head. He was trying his best to draw me into the darkness. He was telling me all the things: stay in bed, feel sorry for yourself, have a pity party, question God about why this happening and on and on.

Rise up warrior! Girl, pick that armor up and fix your helmet of salvation!

Needless to say when devotion ended it was time to come back on zoom and close out the morning– I was in shambles. Despite trying to pull it together and speak all I could do was let the tears flow. Embracing the moment I was vulnerable with the girls.

I told them the day before had been difficult and devotion hit hard. I said that Pamela had my number this morning and I was little emotional. I talked about how I couldn’t imagine how I would be facing life right now if I didn’t have God. It was whammy after whammy and I was feeling very overwhelmed. BUT I know that God is going to work it all for His good.

God gave me the word Joyful Warrior for 2025. From day one this word has evoked so much in me. I can be joyful despite the storm. I am His warrior and I WILL keep walking forward knowing He is with me.

Thought this was a good day to get my new Chaco’s out!

Remember your Bible is the ultimate weapon! Your Bible is referred to as the Sword of the Spirit! Make sure you are keeping that blade sharp by spending time in the word daily.

I have to give a huge shout out to my Big Life army of sisters! I FELT YOUR LOVE THIS MORNING! You girls filled my cup to overflowing! Your words, your messages, your prayers and your kindness meant so much to me.

When morning routine was over I got up and faced my day with spunk and tenacity! Looking back at this morning I see the enemy didn’t stand a chance the moment my feet hit the ground. In the moment I chose not to listen his tiny voice saying “stay in bed”. Instead I heard God’s roar that said “GET UP ANYWAY”! I heard Him telling me to be tenacious when Stacey volunteered to share her word and mantra. I heard Him speak through Pamela’s devotion. I felt Him hugging me as the tears flowed and I shared with my sisters. I felt the hugs of my sisters as I allowed myself to vulnerable. I feel Him now as I write this blog post.

I am clinging to Him as He takes what the enemy intends for evil and rewrites my story for His glory. I’m trusting Him and sharing my story in hopes I can be a light for Him. If I can help bring one person to know Him I have done good.

*In case you missed the link to this morning devotion– Click Here.

He says I can…

March 13, 2025March 13, 2025 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

Picture it: Marion Baptist Church, 2025. A group of friends scattered along the back rows of our church listening to Bible Study. It had been a long, but amazing day. As Brother Aaron is saying the Wednesday Night Announcements I am thinking about going home, putting on my comfy clothes and chilling out.

He begins to tell the parable of the master and his three servants. I tune in. This is one I know. The master is going away for a long time. He gives one servant 5 bags of silver, another 2 bags of silver and the third 1 bag of silver. My Bible says he gave according to their abilities. Meaning the master knew his servants and what they are capable of.

The one with 5 began investing and doubled his. The one with 2 did the same. The one with one was scared of what his master would do if he lost the silver so he buried it in the dirt.

The master comes back and he is pleased with the two who doubled their silver. He was angry with the one who did nothing. He took his bag of silver and gave it to the one with 10.

What I learned is the master was Jesus and we are the servants. He has given us gifts and if want to be good stewards we need to take those gifts and use them for good. Help multiple the kingdom. I also learned that the first two servants probably knew their master. They knew he would be forgiving if they tried and failed over doing nothing.

During this interactive Bible Study someone brought up a scripture that is often misunderstand. One I even misunderstood until now. They said, “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle”. Brother Aaron was quick to say that’s another verse everyone gets wrong. This caught my attention!

Brother Aaron went on to say God does give us more than we think we can handle. We all will face times of testing/temptation/trouble–whatever you want to call it. BUT God will be faithful to us. He will make a way! With Him you make it through!

Lightbulb Moment! Aren’t they the best. I sat there and my eyes filled with tears. Its been a hard couple of weeks. To be honest its been a hard two years, but this past week and half have felt a bit overwhelming. I was beginning to question how much more I could handle. How much longer can I stay strong?

I ended up going home and diving into this scripture that is so often misquoted or misunderstood. 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it”.

That section in yellow is important. God knows what we are capable of. He knows our abilities, strengths and weakness. If you are going through something He knows you can handle it. So stay strong and handle it! He is there with you always.

And let’s not skip that last part- “he will provide a way of escape, that you may be able to endure it”. Obviously, He knows I can handle it since He hasn’t given me a way of escape. So, I will carry on knowing He is in this with me!

Just look in the Bible. God was with Moses and look what he did for the Israelites. Little shepherd boy David took down Goliath. God with was them and they knew it. He knew their abilities and they trusted in Him. The Bible is full of people who didn’t think they were capable, but trusted God. He showed them how strong they can be when they walk with Him and have faith in Him.

The Passion translation of 1 Corinthians 10:13 says “We all experience times of testing, which is normal for every human being. But God will be faithful to you. He will screen and filter the severity, nature and timing of every test or trail you face, so that you can bear it. And each test is an opportunity to trust him more, for along with every trail God has provided for you a way of escape that will bring you out victoriously”.

What should stick out is that Paul says YOU CAN BEAR IT and its an OPPORTUNITY TO TRUST HIM MORE. It doesn’t say more than YOU can handle. Its what GOD knows you can handle.

This morning I woke up with a renewed strength! I am going through it and its hard and it really sucks, but I can handle it. I trust God! I know He is walking with me. I will continue to be His joyful warrior. With Him I will keep fighting each battle and be in prayer that He is working to end this war.

Choose Your Life

February 15, 2025February 15, 2025 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

Picture it–Gatlinburg in January! A spectacular cabin in the stunning snowy mountains. A cabin full of God’s girls connecting, growing and loving on each other. This cabin, the coziness and the views only drew us closer to God.

That is where I meet this beautiful soul. Jill has this light about her. She was quiet, but also had this spark that was ready burst out of her. She reminded me of myself at my first retreat. We have to take a step back, take it all in and slowly come out of our shell.

I know for myself Big Life taught me how to live like a child again. Fearlessly stepping into each day and soaking up all God had available. Being grateful for the little things and living without fear of what others think of you.

Back to Jill, God was taking her story and blowing it up! It’s a redemption story that she was holding close to the vest, but God had other plans. He knew she was ready to illuminate the world with her spark. A spark that shines bright for living life with Jesus and free of addiction.

You see Jill has been sober for a year and she loves her some Jesus! Jesus nudged her into sharing her story. Last week she was telling us how God is showing off. Multiple people have reached out to her about how she inspired them and they are now on a journey to sobriety.

There was this one little sentence she said that completely blew my mind! Seriously, I read it multiple times and wrote it on a sticky note. She said they decided to choose their life over alcohol! Such a simple statement yet it hit me so hard.

What are you choosing over your life?!?! That statement wouldn’t leave my mind. Its why I am writing this right now. What worldly things do we put above living our lives the way God intended. We have this one life that God has given us.

Are we living it wisely? Are we fully living? Are we walking with Him or are we distracted? Seriously consider where you spend most of your time. Are you scrolling social media? Are you addicted to working? Are you devoted to alcohol? Are you consumed with your next snack? Are you thinking about your next high? Are you glued to a TV or computer screen?

Take a moment to do a inventory of where you spend your time. Are you living life to the full or does something have a hold on you? Are you living little because of an addiction or are you walking in alignment with God fully living?

If am being totally honest I would say that my two biggest distractions from living are getting stuck binge watching a tv show or mindlessly scrolling. This tends to be worse during these cold and yucky winter months. Still its no excuse for wasting my life watching TV and scrolling on my phone. I checked myself and was shocked to see my screen time daily average. Have you checked that setting on your phone recently? Maybe you should. It might light a fire to stop wasting life and get out there and live life. Ask yourself do you want to watch other people live or get busy living your life!

I am choosing to end some TV subscriptions today. I am removing some apps from my phone as well. In their place I am going to be outside more. I am going to sit on my porch and soak up the sunshine and nature. I am going to date my husband. I am going to connect more with my family and friends. I am going to go for walks and talk to God more. I am going to sit with Him and my Bible. I am going to following His promptings to better living.

Ask yourself what you are choosing over living? Pay attention to the first thing(s) that pops in your head when you honestly ask yourself that question! Lets make some changes and get busy living this one life God has granted us.

Childlike Faith

December 29, 2024 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

Que Matchbox Twenty circa 1996 “its 3AM and I must be lonely”! That song always pops in my head when I can’t sleep. Only its 1AM and can’t wind down from an amazing day at church. Between the powerful message from Aaron and the church full of children singing this evening my soul is on fire.

As I was laying in bed talking to God about what an amazing day it was I felt Him say you are like those little children. This year your faith has flourished. It is childlike faith you have and I don’t want you to ever lose that.

Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. ³Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. ⁴So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.” Matthew 18:2-3

What does it mean to have childlike faith? Children trust and believe in their parents. We should trust and believe in God that same way. Think about it! Before the world got a hold of us we fully believed everything our parents told us. We believed in Santa, the Easter bunny and tooth faith.

I grew up in church and surrounded by people of faith. I was saved and baptized at 10. Over the years I lost that childlike faith. My faith was surface level. I said I had faith in God, but took care of things myself. Sometimes it worked for me and sometimes it didn’t.

Over the last five years God has been working on me. If you have been following our story you know in 2021 we took a huge leap of faith by changing our entire lives and moving back to Kentucky. We had complete faith that God brought us back here and was going to use our farm for good.

The unthinkable happened to us in 2023. At first we let it take us down. With God we fought our way back to living life. To be honest when your trust is broken the way that ours was God is the only person you can have complete trust in.

So when 2024 rolled around God gave me the word FLOURISH. The definition of flourish is to grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as the result of a particularly favorable environment. My mantra is “today I wake up ready to soak up all God’s nourishment so that I can navigate my day fearlessly and courageously! I am diving in and cultivating all God has available for me. Go ahead and blow my mind with all your great plans. I am ready to fiercely flourish!

In January when God gave me this word my goals were to grow my faith, develop a healthy lifestyle and grow the most amazing garden.

Well, the garden sucked this year! There isn’t another way to describe it. We went from too much rain to super humidity. It was very disappointing, but a lesson in how to do better next year.

My health and fitness never got off the rollercoaster. I did drop 10 of the 30 pounds I needed to lose. I have kept those 10 off. It’s a struggle and I will continue to fight and find balance.

My faith skyrocketed! In May a flip switched. I literally went from saying I had faith that God was taking care of things to fully believing it. The more time I spent in prayer, reading his word and listening to Him the less I worried and the more I believed He is in control and His timing is perfect.

I also believe I surrounded myself with the right people. My friends, my family and my coworkers covered us in prayer and spoke positivity to us. They reminded me God has this and I just need to live my life.

Its hard to describe the change in me. For months it consumed my life and then it didn’t. I know it didn’t happen overnight. Looking back I can see the tiny ways God was bringing me back.

The more I put Him first, the less I worried. The more I talked to Him, the more I found my joy for life. The more I read my Bible the more I saw how amazing our God is and my faith grew. I begin to give it to Him more and more each day. I was flourishing in the best way possible.

Proverbs 11:28 “Trust in your money and down you go! But the godly flourish like leaves in the spring.”

Psalm 52:8 “But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in the loving devotion of God forever and ever”.

Proverbs 14:11 “The house of the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent of the upright will flourish.”

Because of my child-like faith I went to pastor, Aaron and told him the dream I felt God placed on my heart. I told him how I felt God was saying go all in! Don’t just have a food pantry, but a free farmers market, classes on budgeting, learning to make the most of your food box, canning, freezing and baking. Lets not just have a food pantry, but a toiletry closet.

To be honest I was so excited I kind had diarrhea of the mouth and just threw it all at it him. I was overflowing with excitement. He once told me he loved big ideas. He said if you do the work we can make it happen. Here I am send me! A few days later I sent him a detailed email of my dream and my why. He said, “we can do this!”

As I child I always loved the story of Jesus feeding 5000 with two loaves of bread and five fish. That is where I got the idea of calling the ministry 5&2. While brainstorming with God I was looking up verses and came across 1 Peter 5:2. I was sharing the passion translation of the verse with my friend, Pamela and she said “Kelly did you pick this one because of the 5:2”. I never even noticed until she said something. For me that reinforced calling it 5&2.

In November our church did a toiletry drive and we filled a closet full! We are so excited to add that in January. I am very fortunate that God put me at Marion Baptist Church. Julie and Kody have the same passion as I do for food and helping people. I can’t wait to see what God does through us in 2025.

1 Peter 5:2 says, “to be compassionate shepherds who tenderly care for God’s flock and who feed them well, for you have the responsibility to guide, protect, and oversee. Consider it a joyous pleasure and not merely a religious duty. Lead from the heart under God’s leadership—not as a way to gain finances dishonestly but as a way to eagerly and cheerfully serve”.

Living in the Storm

December 20, 2024 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

In the most difficult times you can find opportunity. An opportunity is defined as “a set of circumstances that make it possible to do something”. In 2023 we learned to live in the middle of the storm.

I read that Toby Keith and Clint Eastwood were in a golf tournament together and Clint told Toby, “I just get up every morning and go out. And I don’t let the old man in”. What a way to live! It inspired me! I don’t let the enemy in!

Sunshine and nature are two of the most amazing things you can do for yourself when you are in a dark place. I took advantage our farm, got out and explored as much as could. Even on the coldest day the sunshine warms the soul. It’s also a time for me to talk to God and listen to God.

One of my close friends got engaged and married in 2023. Being there for the engagement, bachelorette dinner, wedding and reception were highlights of my year.

Visiting our boys and friends for a weekend in Alabama was so good for us. When we felt God calling us back to Kentucky one of the hardest things was knowing our boys would stay in Alabama. It had been home to them since they were 4 and 6. Leaving behind friends you have known for years wasn’t easy either, so the visit was good for us.

We invested in our farm. We grew another amazing garden. Built a nice chicken coop and got more chickens. Spending time in the garden is like therapy for me. I think it was good for Kevin, too. Nothing like getting a little dirt under your nails.

I went on a couple Big Life Retreats. Spending time with Pamela, Catherine and my Big Life Sisters fills my cup to overflowing. When we are together we live big and love hard. I know these girls pray circles around me, too.

I got to go Paragould and watch my friends girls dance recital and spend some quality time with some amazing friends. I took my nieces to St. Louis for a fun weekend and we met up with my friend, Stacey who took us on a river paddle.

I celebrated my 50th Birthday with a mermazing birthday party! Woohoo to 50 years of life! I plan to live even bigger this next 50 years. Yes, at least 50 more years! I have a goal of living to a healthy and active 100+!

We started attending Marion Baptist Church summer 2023. Its the first time since 2019 that we regularly attended in person church. We had been doing online church for so long we forgot what it was like to have a real church family.

In October I left my job at Chapel Hill to work at Marion Baptist Church. An opportunity came along and I jumped on it. I was able to start helping in the Food Pantry that we had been donating fresh veggies and eggs to since we moved to Marion. God was reminding me why we were here and where my focus needed to be.

Kevin and I took a quick trip to the beach in the fall. We did a lot of relaxing and napping on that trip. I spent a lot of time on the balcony with my Bible. I believe that was where our outlook started to shift. We prayed and asked God to show us if we were wrong and He only reinforced that we were not and to remain steadfast in Him and His timing.

There was a shift in perspective that fall. During this very difficult set of circumstances we learned to live with joy and accept the peace that can only come from God when you put total trust in Him.

When you truly put your faith in God and accept that He is in control you can live your life in peace. You can be full of joy knowing that its all going to work out in His timing. We got the opportunity to be grateful for this storm.

The most difficult year…

December 12, 2024December 12, 2024 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

In 2023 there was the awesomeness of the Eras Tour and the devastation of Maui fires. The legendary Tina Turner died and Barbie made a huge comeback. Throughout the entire year it was full of highs and lows. For us it was much the same. I can honestly say it was the hardest year of our lives.

The year started off great! I knew I wanted to focus on my health and my relationship with God. I treasured 2022 a little too much when it came to indulging in food. I was the biggest I had ever been and I was miserable. When you go from running multiple half marathons a year to not having the energy to walk a mile you know its time to get your butt in gear.

The word God gave me was perfect! “Today I am STEADFAST in His direction as I faithfully imagine all He has planned for me. I am circling it in prayer and putting it into action. I will not be shaken by circumstances, but remain loyal to God, myself and my commitments!”

I mean look at the mantra! I was ready to tackle my health and grow my relationship with Him. Nothing was gonna shake me or break me! I was ready! Little did I know on January 1st when I stuck my word/mantra beside my bathroom mirror how much more I would need it for.

One thing I have noticed is you think your word & mantra comes to you for one reason, BUT GOD has given it to you for another. The year unfolds and that word takes on new meaning. Your mantra becomes so much more.

I missed New Year retreat this year, but got to take my niece to Universal Studios for a long weekend. It was her first time flying and our first time to Universal. She is a huge Harry Potter fan so we did all the HP things. We loved Dr. Suess world, too. It was a fabulous trip!

On February 18th our world was rocked! I don’t know how else to explain it. Literally all the wind in our sails deflated in a matter of minutes. I thought I was having a heart attack only to learn later that day it was a panic attack. Made it almost 50 years without ever having one.

At this time I cannot go into the details of the what, but I can share what it did to us. When your trust is betrayed by someone you never in a million years thought would betray you, it really does rock you to your core.

I was even warned we might want to go in a different direction, but my gut never went on alert so we thought we were making the right decision. My gut has rarely failed me. It did this time.

The next few months were a blur. Kev and I went through all the feels. Deep hurt and betrayal were among the strongest feelings we had. It was like walking in quicksand and being surrounded by thick fog. We were truly stuck in that moment. How did this happen? Why is this happening?

I was having panic attacks. We were both dealing with anxiety and depression. As someone who never really had much sympathy for people with anxiety it was a tough lesson to learn. It was the first time in my life I wasn’t sure how to conquer my feelings. I ended up on medication.

The medication numbed me. For me that was worse than being anxious and depressed. I turned to God. Sometimes we forgot that he can do ANYTHING. Through prayer, reading my Bible and talking to people I trusted I was able to work through everything and find my joy again.

Next came the anger. I am not an angry person. I don’t stay mad. I couldn’t shake this anger. I ended up talking to my pastor. He said my anger is normal and very valid. Acting on anger is when it becomes sin. I began praying for God to take away my anger and bring back my zest for life.

That is when I begin to work on forgiveness. I realized forgiveness was for me and me alone. The person(s) don’t even have to know they are forgiven. Once I truly forgave I was able to start mending my heart and soul. I began to see my spark again. We were still heavy in the middle of mess, but the enemy no longer controlled me 24/7.

The gamut of emotions we faced in 2023 were more than anyone should have to deal with. One second things were happening and the next it was crickets. We were always left up in the air wondering is it over or what’s next. We were still riding a rollercoaster, but it didn’t control me anymore.

My mantra was something I said to myself multiple times a day. I had to remind myself to stay steadfast in his direction, to circle it in prayer, give it to Him and I would NOT be shaken by the circumstances of life.

As we faced this battle I prayed so much. I cried out to God. I asked him to show me if we were wrong, if there was something we needed to see and He consistently told me to remain steadfast and keep our eyes on Him. He gave me this verse again and again. James 1:2 “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness”.

We took a leap of faith and completely changed our lives moving back to Kentucky. We knew God wanted us to use our farm to glorify Him. We knew it wouldn’t be easy, but we never expected this.

In October 2022 I was in Oklahoma at friends house. A book on Kim’s desk caught my eye. She gave me that book and I read it that fall. Looking back now I see how God gave me that book to prepare me for this battle. The book was called The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. I actually used “circle in prayer” in my mantra. That was before I knew what this year would hold. That book helped me so much this year. I clearly heard God tell me this was our Jericho. Silently circle it in prayer and trust Him with this rest. When the times comes He will tell us when to shout and watch that “wall” fall!

To this day we remain STEADFAST in God. We got off the rollercoaster of emotions and put our faith in Him and His timing. We are not letting what is happening keep us from living our best life. Despite the difficulties we faced in 2023 we still had a really good year. Stay tuned for the goodness of 2023.

Faith to the Farm

Our journey of trusting God

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