Tired, weary and full of joy!

September 20, 2025September 22, 2025 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1 NLT

“…Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” Nehemiah 8:10 NLT

What started 31 months ago was about to end. We were just 18 short days away. I was sitting on the back row with my sweet daddy, listening intently. I felt the shift and knew the ending wasn’t coming in 18 days after all.

Six months just got added to our wait. Surprisingly, I was not as torn up as I thought I would be. Really, what is six more months when you have been waiting for thirty one. That my friends is what God can do when you give it all to Him.

When the bottom fell out 31 months ago I was a dejected human. I let the enemy take hold of me for a bit. BUT GOD! He was there waiting for me and when I took hold of Him my zest for life came back. I have total faith in Him. He is bigger than the mess, bigger than the enemy and He is taking all this and turning it for His good.

That verse in Nehemiah says the joy of the Lord is my strength. I let God’s joy be my source of strength, not my circumstances. That is what that verse means! When you are down let God fill you up. Depend on Him not the circumstances of life. Put your full faith and trust in God alone.

God is our refuge and strength at all times, but especially in times of trouble. Through this trial He has been a refuge for me. He has given me strength when I didn’t think I could handle another hit. He has made me strong and fierce. Every single time I have had to do something for this trial I have felt Him. He has given me so much strength.

Yes, I have grown tired and some days I am weary, but nothing can steal my joy! It comes from the Lord ALONE, not my circumstances. God’s power is omnipotent (ALL POWERFUL). The enemy’s power is limited and he can’t steal what he hasn’t given you!

There is a saying that says your day will go the way the corners of your mouth are turned. Are you smiling or frowning through life? Are you going through life with a positive attitude or a negative one? Where is your focus?

I wake up and can’t wait to walk out of my bedroom and see the sun rising through my front door. I grab a cup of coffee, my Bible and go watch it rise the rest of the way. It brings me joy! My little 9 mile drive to work can take over 20 minutes somedays, because I creep along my country road watching wildlife and being mesmerized.

Try going through a day with wonder and awe of all that is around you. Look up and tell God “thank you I love it”. Go to park, leave your phone in your car and go sit in the grass. Listen to the birds sing. Gaze at the clouds. Soak up the sun. Dance in the rain. Soak up God’s creation with childlike wonder. It will perk you right up.

I can now say that I am grateful for this trial because through it I have grown so close to God! He is my number 1 always and forever. I start my day with Him. I go to Him during my day. I end my day with Him. I do everything with Him in mind.

As a young teen I always looked up to my Mema and Mother Russell. They were such amazing Godly women. It was always one of them that would pray at family gatherings. They could quote scripture and turn right to what they were looking for in their Bibles. They were kind to everyone. They were forgiving and compassionate. I wanted to be them when I grew up. For the first time in my life I can proudly say I am making progress at being like them.

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” Isaiah 40:29 NIV

He gives strength to the weary. When we become exhausted from the battles of life God gives us strength. When we are at our weakest, God can sustain us! God has compassion for us and He wants us to lean on Him. He wants to be our source of strength.

He increases the power of the weak. God does not leave us vulnerable, He instead empowers us and give us divine strength to face our battles. He wants us to trust in Him during the difficulties of life. God’s power is limitless! He wants us to trust in Him at ALL times.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9 NIV

This verse reminds me to focus on doing good. Through this difficult trial I have felt God redirect me from worrying over all the “what ifs” to focusing on the reason He brought us back to Kentucky. He did not bring me here to get lost in worry, anxiousness, depression and sadness. He brought me here to do good for our community, bring others to know him and live life to the fullest.

I find joy in serving my community! Today we served 341 meals to our community. It brings me delight to prepare and serve lunch to our community. Today I also dropped off a bag full of Period Packs for one of our teachers at the high school. Tomorrow our Food Pantry will be open all day. I will bring fresh eggs and watermelon from the farm and add them to the boxes.

Those things bring the JOY and those things are where God wants me to focus. He is working on the trial and He will let me know if He needs something from me.

We reap a harvest when we do not give up! Always focus on God and His will for your life. Focus on doing good and loving others well. Strive to make a positive impact on those you encounter. Be persistent in focusing on God and telling the enemy to get away from you! Our reward will be will be awesome!

My goal is to get to the end of fully lived life and have God say to me: “My joyful warrior you did good! You lived big, you served well and you left nothing in your tank”!

Built on the Rock

June 13, 2025June 13, 2025 / Kelly Bea / 2 Comments

Why do we ever doubt how amazingly spectacular our God is? Just why?

I think its so not much that I doubt him, but I have questioned: Why? How much longer? Do you hear my cries? Is there an end in site? Are you there God? We humans are such an impatient bunch of people.

I have to remind myself: 2 Peter 3:8-9 “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.”

I started a new Bible Study this week on the book of Habakkuk. Who knew 3 little chapters could pack such a punch. Habakkuk is crying out to God asking why he is silent? He is questioning how good can God be if he is allowing so much evil and hate in the world. One of the main points of Habakkuk is that we must exercise faith in the face of chaos. Let the darkness in your world be an invitation to put even more faith in our awesome God and trust His timing.

This morning as I was heading out to the porch to spend some time with Him he gave me a little wink. I looked up as I was opening the backdoor. That’s when I magically saw through the paint, trim and sheetrock and remembered the verse written on stud above that door I was about to walk out: “His mercies are new every morning”, Lamentations 3:23

A smile came to my face as I thanked God for reminding me my home is literally covered in His word! Family and friends stopped by and took the time to write His word on our house. Friends that couldn’t come text me specific verses to write on our home. I even saw a few verses written by the guys that were part of building our home.

I felt this little wink from God was not only a reminder, but God saying “I see you”. I see you going out this door every morning and soaking up my word. I see you talking to me throughout your day. I see you not letting this trail consume you because you know I have you. He is so sweet to assure me again and again that He is with me.

After my time with him this morning I grabbed my phone and started looking at those verses covering our house. I zoomed in to read some of them. I laughed because some of the verses appropriately matched the room they were written in.

My Aunt Jean wrote “The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still”.

This morning I thanked God that our house was built on the rock! In 2021 we took a leap with Him. We left what we thought was our forever home in Alabama, our boys, our secure jobs and 18 years of friendships to follow His promptings and come back to our farm in Kentucky. We prayed and listened to him with each step we have taken on this journey. We have let Him be our guide and we will continue to trust Him on this journey.

Matthew 7:24-27 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

Suck it satan! You can bring on the rains, the floods, the winds and try to beat us down. IT WON’T HAPPEN! I am built on the rock! My husband is built on the rock! Our home is built on the rock and our farm is built on the rock! My trust is in the Lord!

I have no words…

May 14, 2025May 14, 2025 / Kelly Bea / 1 Comment

I go outside to feel closer to God. Why? I can’t tell you why. I only know when I am outside surrounded by His creation I feel Him more. I can hear Him in the birds singing their songs. I see Him in the clouds dancing across the azure blue skies. I see Him in sunrises & sunsets as he paints the sky. I can feel Him when the wind blows, the snow falls and rain sprinkles.

Outside there are no distractions. No hum of electricity coming from the things in your house. No TV blaring. No house that says “clean me”. No dust bunnies hopping across the floor reminding you to dustmop. Outside it is just you and all of God’s creation.

Today the words weren’t coming and I thought maybe if I go outside they would. They did not! I said out loud to God, “I can’t find the words today God. I need you. I am desperate, but the words aren’t coming.”

In that moment the tears began to flow as I felt Him all around me. It was like the birds got louder, the sun got brighter and the wind tickled my face. I just let it all out as I soaked up His embrace.

After a few minutes I said, “God that is all I got today, but I promise I am going to get up and go be your JOYFUL WARRIOR!”.

Lamentations 3: 21-24 says “Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this. The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore I will hope in Him.”

Those verses are so good and give me such hope! God’s love and faithfulness will NEVER end! He is faithful to bring judgement and faithful to bring restoration. He provides all we need.

My study Bible said the faithful love of the Lord is the basis for the poets recovery from deep depression. I can relate to this. It’s because of my faith I am able to live with joy during this difficult time.

It’s been 26 months and 26 days since I was betrayed by someone I loved my whole life. Sadly, the hit that came that day was only the beginning. It continued to get worse and worse.

Since that day my emotions have run the gamut from confusion & hurt to finding my joy again. I worked very hard to find and keep my joy. Most days it is easy, but there are days when everything hits all at once. That feeling of overwhelm takes over and tries its hardest to pull me into the darkness.

That is why I am so grateful I have God. I stay tethered tightly to him through prayer, conversation and His word. He alone keeps me living fully and with a heart of joy.

I know God is working hard in all this. He can take what the devil intends for harm and make it outstandingly wonderful.

I know I have been changed because of this trail. I am closer to God now than I ever have been. Would that be the case if this didn’t happen?

If you look back on our journey we are back in Kentucky because we trusted God and took a huge leap of faith. Quitting our jobs, leaving our boys and the life we created in Alabama and relocating to our farm. We had no clue what we would do when we got here. We just listened to God.

Looking back I see how I was overly excited about building our little farmhouse. Did that distract me from the reason He brought us here? Did we steer off course? Is He using this to pull us back? Is He using us to bring someone back to Him? Is He teaching someone not to put things of this Earth above Him? Is He using this to show His mighty power? All could be a possibility!

I might not ever understand the why? That is okay! I can already see the good coming from it. I see God changing my heart and molding me into the girl He created me to be. He is showing me what is and is not important. He has given me a heart of service and shown me where I can serve. He is showing me how to shine bright for him.

I think He is working on the person who hurt us, too. To be honest I get a lot of kickback when I mention this to some. I always grin and say “our God is the God of the impossible”!

Luke 1:37 “With God nothing is impossible”.

Luke 18:27 “the things which are impossible with men, are possible with God”.

Back to having no words. Just remember when we don’t have the words, God still knows because the Holy Spirit living in our hearts is a direct line to Him..

Romans 8:26-28 says “And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them”.

So when the words don’t come, go to Him anyway. When you don’t understand, go to Him anyway. Trust fully in Him.

Jesus is my Scarecrow

May 1, 2025May 1, 2025 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

I have been doing a Bible Study about dying to self and living for Christ. Isn’t that the ultimate goal? When we are saved–we need to let our old self die and work each day to live for Christ. To seek His will above all else.

It reminds me of springtime and getting the garden ready. It’s good to till up your garden spot, then let the weeds come back and burn them off. It’s a controlled burn that kills off the weeds before they have a chance to take root.

I have felt a very strong pull to cultivate my garden this year. I have let some weeds take over certain areas of life and God has been convicting me to prune myself. To become more of Him and less of me.

Satan works hard to keep the weeds growing in our garden. He can take our sinful thoughts & actions and makes them look pretty. Just like all the goldenrods covering farmland in Kentucky right now. It’s beautiful to see, but they are weeds! The farmers are about to spray the fields, kill the weeds and plant the seeds.

Satan is the master manipulator. Jeremiah 17:9 says “the human heart is the most deceitful of all things; and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is”. WOAH! That’s harsh!

BUT if you read a couple verses before and after you see that Jeremiah says that when we put our trust in God He can guide our hearts, search our hearts and cleanse our hearts. God is the answer to keep the weeds out of our garden.

Next we learn in Mark 8: 34-37 that to follow Him we have to deny ourselves. We have to stop walking around in the weeds. Time to prune our garden and let God determine what we grow. To experience the abundant life God has for us we must let go of our old sinful ways and follow Him.

In Colossians 3 Paul breaks it down into two parts for us. One is all the sinful things we need to remove from our garden and the other are the Godly things we need to add to our garden. Verse 5 begins by telling us to put to death our sinful nature. This is not a one and done thing we do when we are saved. We are to be constantly pruning our garden. We must keep killing the sin that springs up in our garden. When we take a break from pruning our garden those weeds weave through our garden and take over in the blink of an eye.

Verses 12-15 show us what we need to always grow in our garden– “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.“

Romans 12:1 tells us to give our bodies to God as living sacrifices. When we do this it is the ultimate way to worship God. Each time we live for the Lord over our worldly desires we are worshiping Him. We will always battle between God and worldly things, but each time we choose God we are worshiping him. Doesn’t that sound amazing! I imagine myself in the garden praising Him.

And that brings us walking by the spirit. Galatians 5: 16-26 is what I have been diving into lately. I must share that I love the passion translation of these verses. Paul again gives us two lists. One is acts of the flesh and one is attributes of living a Godly life. The two lives are not compatible. If we are walking in the spirit we know this battle well. In verse 16 Paul reminds us that when we let the Holy Spirit guide our lives we won’t give into our sinful desires as much.

There will still be battles playing out in our garden, but the spirit gives us the upper hand by convicting us of sin, strengthening us to resist temptation and pursue Christ’s path over our own.

My study Bible describes walking by the spirit as walking with a friend, but the friend is the God. When he is walking alongside us we tend to not want to carry out worldly desires.

Being me I see it like this—I am the garden and in the center of my garden is Jesus. Jesus is my scarecrow. He is always there—his watch never ends. He is always on guard and ready to alert me of danger. And when I am intune with Him the enemy doesn’t stand a chance of getting my garden.

Now back to those list. In verses 19-21 we learn about acts of the flesh. The list includes sexual immorality, lustful thoughts, pornography, chasing things instead of God, hatred towards others, senseless arguments, resentment, temper tantrums, angry quarrels, only thinking of yourself, being in love with your own opinions, being envious of the blessings of others, murder, uncontrolled addictions and wild parties. Ouch! I see some things I need to weed. How about you?

Here is another big OUCH– the end of verse 21 says “ Haven’t I already warned you that those who use their freedom for these things WILL NOT inherit the kingdom of God”. I grew up believing once saved always saved, but Paul clearly says do these things and you aren’t going to spend eternity with God in heaven.

This gave me pause! I think we all have had senseless arguments, been envious of someone or haven’t been the nicest to someone. Let’s be real, I have been to a few wild parties in my life!

My study bible says that people living that sort of life are a slave to sin and not living by the spirit. If we choose to live a life where we are continually sinning and not seeking repentance it is clear we are not a true follower of God. BUT when we truly trust God and desire to walk with Him we do not have to worry. Of course we will fall short sometimes, but weeding and pruning shows him how much we desire to be with Him for eternity.

Okay let’s get back to cultivating our Garden! Paul gives us a 2nd list–attributes of living a Godly life. Verses 22-23 in the passion translation are just so sweet…

“But the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit within you is
divine love in all its varied expressions,
Joy that overflows
Peace that subdues
Patience that endures
Kindness in action
A life full of virtue
Faith that prevails
Gentleness of heart and
Strength of spirit.”

Wow! What a marvelous garden we can have with these attributes in the forefront of our lives. Let’s take a look at each one…

Divine love…loving God and loving people are two of the most important things we can do in life. A love that is free of judgement. Jesus loved and died for the very people that crucified Him. We need to love like that.

Joy that overflows… Paul connects joy & gratefulness to prayer. When we are in constant prayer & communication with God we can find true joy no matter our circumstances. A joy that overflows in all parts of our lives.

Peace that subdues… When we are rooted in God we can experience this kind of peace. It’s a piece that says I trust you with everything Lord. Just like the birds that don’t worry where their next meal is coming from and plants in the garden that know Jesus will feed them.. They just know the Lord will provide.

Patience that endures.. Patience controls our responses. Patience is having steadfastness, endurance, perseverance and consistency. Patience says take a deep breath (or two) and then respond.

Kindness in action… I read that kindness was patience taking to the next level. We choose to go out of our way to speak and live with love.

A life full of virtue… we can show others how good our God is by being so so good to those around us. Just like Jesus was when he walked this earth.

Faith that prevails.. All we need is faith the size of a mustard seed, but think what he can do when we have the faith of Abraham. Can you imagine the faith it took to be willing to sacrifice your child. The people around you are watching. They want to see what we do in a trial or difficult time. Be faithful because God might be using us to turn a heart of stone into a heart for God.

Gentleness of heart.. A few synonyms for gentle are soothing, mellow, soft, mild, delicate and light. This makes me think of my favorite comfy blankie. When Jesus walked this earth he was all of these things for everyone he met. We need to be a comfy blanket of gentleness for others.

Strength of spirit… (SELF CONTROL) we all face temptation–even Jesus did. Jesus knew his purpose and He walked in his purpose. This helped him have self-control to say no to temptation. He knew his purpose was more important than temporary pleasure. As we battle against overeating, gossipping or whatever sin we struggle with, let’s remember to lean into the Holy Spirit. Let him guide us away from sin and gain control over the enemy.

Here we are at the end of this devotion and feel like I said a whole lot.

The main takeaway is that we can never get lazy.

Our gardens must constantly be weeded to keep sin at bay.
We must never stop watering our garden: Soak up His Word to keep our gardens flourishing.
We need to feed our garden good fertilizer: Spend time in prayer with our father in heaven.
We need to constantly be cultivating our garden: Live by the fruits of spirit
Every garden has to be harvested: Take all those good fruits and share them with others. Take those bad fruits and send them back to hell.
Make sure JESUS IS THE SCARECROW in the center of our gardens. Let us always sing our praises to him for he is the ultimate partner and guardian.

Childlike Faith

December 29, 2024 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

Que Matchbox Twenty circa 1996 “its 3AM and I must be lonely”! That song always pops in my head when I can’t sleep. Only its 1AM and can’t wind down from an amazing day at church. Between the powerful message from Aaron and the church full of children singing this evening my soul is on fire.

As I was laying in bed talking to God about what an amazing day it was I felt Him say you are like those little children. This year your faith has flourished. It is childlike faith you have and I don’t want you to ever lose that.

Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. ³Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. ⁴So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.” Matthew 18:2-3

What does it mean to have childlike faith? Children trust and believe in their parents. We should trust and believe in God that same way. Think about it! Before the world got a hold of us we fully believed everything our parents told us. We believed in Santa, the Easter bunny and tooth faith.

I grew up in church and surrounded by people of faith. I was saved and baptized at 10. Over the years I lost that childlike faith. My faith was surface level. I said I had faith in God, but took care of things myself. Sometimes it worked for me and sometimes it didn’t.

Over the last five years God has been working on me. If you have been following our story you know in 2021 we took a huge leap of faith by changing our entire lives and moving back to Kentucky. We had complete faith that God brought us back here and was going to use our farm for good.

The unthinkable happened to us in 2023. At first we let it take us down. With God we fought our way back to living life. To be honest when your trust is broken the way that ours was God is the only person you can have complete trust in.

So when 2024 rolled around God gave me the word FLOURISH. The definition of flourish is to grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as the result of a particularly favorable environment. My mantra is “today I wake up ready to soak up all God’s nourishment so that I can navigate my day fearlessly and courageously! I am diving in and cultivating all God has available for me. Go ahead and blow my mind with all your great plans. I am ready to fiercely flourish!

In January when God gave me this word my goals were to grow my faith, develop a healthy lifestyle and grow the most amazing garden.

Well, the garden sucked this year! There isn’t another way to describe it. We went from too much rain to super humidity. It was very disappointing, but a lesson in how to do better next year.

My health and fitness never got off the rollercoaster. I did drop 10 of the 30 pounds I needed to lose. I have kept those 10 off. It’s a struggle and I will continue to fight and find balance.

My faith skyrocketed! In May a flip switched. I literally went from saying I had faith that God was taking care of things to fully believing it. The more time I spent in prayer, reading his word and listening to Him the less I worried and the more I believed He is in control and His timing is perfect.

I also believe I surrounded myself with the right people. My friends, my family and my coworkers covered us in prayer and spoke positivity to us. They reminded me God has this and I just need to live my life.

Its hard to describe the change in me. For months it consumed my life and then it didn’t. I know it didn’t happen overnight. Looking back I can see the tiny ways God was bringing me back.

The more I put Him first, the less I worried. The more I talked to Him, the more I found my joy for life. The more I read my Bible the more I saw how amazing our God is and my faith grew. I begin to give it to Him more and more each day. I was flourishing in the best way possible.

Proverbs 11:28 “Trust in your money and down you go! But the godly flourish like leaves in the spring.”

Psalm 52:8 “But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in the loving devotion of God forever and ever”.

Proverbs 14:11 “The house of the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent of the upright will flourish.”

Because of my child-like faith I went to pastor, Aaron and told him the dream I felt God placed on my heart. I told him how I felt God was saying go all in! Don’t just have a food pantry, but a free farmers market, classes on budgeting, learning to make the most of your food box, canning, freezing and baking. Lets not just have a food pantry, but a toiletry closet.

To be honest I was so excited I kind had diarrhea of the mouth and just threw it all at it him. I was overflowing with excitement. He once told me he loved big ideas. He said if you do the work we can make it happen. Here I am send me! A few days later I sent him a detailed email of my dream and my why. He said, “we can do this!”

As I child I always loved the story of Jesus feeding 5000 with two loaves of bread and five fish. That is where I got the idea of calling the ministry 5&2. While brainstorming with God I was looking up verses and came across 1 Peter 5:2. I was sharing the passion translation of the verse with my friend, Pamela and she said “Kelly did you pick this one because of the 5:2”. I never even noticed until she said something. For me that reinforced calling it 5&2.

In November our church did a toiletry drive and we filled a closet full! We are so excited to add that in January. I am very fortunate that God put me at Marion Baptist Church. Julie and Kody have the same passion as I do for food and helping people. I can’t wait to see what God does through us in 2025.

1 Peter 5:2 says, “to be compassionate shepherds who tenderly care for God’s flock and who feed them well, for you have the responsibility to guide, protect, and oversee. Consider it a joyous pleasure and not merely a religious duty. Lead from the heart under God’s leadership—not as a way to gain finances dishonestly but as a way to eagerly and cheerfully serve”.

Living in the Storm

December 20, 2024 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

In the most difficult times you can find opportunity. An opportunity is defined as “a set of circumstances that make it possible to do something”. In 2023 we learned to live in the middle of the storm.

I read that Toby Keith and Clint Eastwood were in a golf tournament together and Clint told Toby, “I just get up every morning and go out. And I don’t let the old man in”. What a way to live! It inspired me! I don’t let the enemy in!

Sunshine and nature are two of the most amazing things you can do for yourself when you are in a dark place. I took advantage our farm, got out and explored as much as could. Even on the coldest day the sunshine warms the soul. It’s also a time for me to talk to God and listen to God.

One of my close friends got engaged and married in 2023. Being there for the engagement, bachelorette dinner, wedding and reception were highlights of my year.

Visiting our boys and friends for a weekend in Alabama was so good for us. When we felt God calling us back to Kentucky one of the hardest things was knowing our boys would stay in Alabama. It had been home to them since they were 4 and 6. Leaving behind friends you have known for years wasn’t easy either, so the visit was good for us.

We invested in our farm. We grew another amazing garden. Built a nice chicken coop and got more chickens. Spending time in the garden is like therapy for me. I think it was good for Kevin, too. Nothing like getting a little dirt under your nails.

I went on a couple Big Life Retreats. Spending time with Pamela, Catherine and my Big Life Sisters fills my cup to overflowing. When we are together we live big and love hard. I know these girls pray circles around me, too.

I got to go Paragould and watch my friends girls dance recital and spend some quality time with some amazing friends. I took my nieces to St. Louis for a fun weekend and we met up with my friend, Stacey who took us on a river paddle.

I celebrated my 50th Birthday with a mermazing birthday party! Woohoo to 50 years of life! I plan to live even bigger this next 50 years. Yes, at least 50 more years! I have a goal of living to a healthy and active 100+!

We started attending Marion Baptist Church summer 2023. Its the first time since 2019 that we regularly attended in person church. We had been doing online church for so long we forgot what it was like to have a real church family.

In October I left my job at Chapel Hill to work at Marion Baptist Church. An opportunity came along and I jumped on it. I was able to start helping in the Food Pantry that we had been donating fresh veggies and eggs to since we moved to Marion. God was reminding me why we were here and where my focus needed to be.

Kevin and I took a quick trip to the beach in the fall. We did a lot of relaxing and napping on that trip. I spent a lot of time on the balcony with my Bible. I believe that was where our outlook started to shift. We prayed and asked God to show us if we were wrong and He only reinforced that we were not and to remain steadfast in Him and His timing.

There was a shift in perspective that fall. During this very difficult set of circumstances we learned to live with joy and accept the peace that can only come from God when you put total trust in Him.

When you truly put your faith in God and accept that He is in control you can live your life in peace. You can be full of joy knowing that its all going to work out in His timing. We got the opportunity to be grateful for this storm.

The most difficult year…

December 12, 2024December 12, 2024 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

In 2023 there was the awesomeness of the Eras Tour and the devastation of Maui fires. The legendary Tina Turner died and Barbie made a huge comeback. Throughout the entire year it was full of highs and lows. For us it was much the same. I can honestly say it was the hardest year of our lives.

The year started off great! I knew I wanted to focus on my health and my relationship with God. I treasured 2022 a little too much when it came to indulging in food. I was the biggest I had ever been and I was miserable. When you go from running multiple half marathons a year to not having the energy to walk a mile you know its time to get your butt in gear.

The word God gave me was perfect! “Today I am STEADFAST in His direction as I faithfully imagine all He has planned for me. I am circling it in prayer and putting it into action. I will not be shaken by circumstances, but remain loyal to God, myself and my commitments!”

I mean look at the mantra! I was ready to tackle my health and grow my relationship with Him. Nothing was gonna shake me or break me! I was ready! Little did I know on January 1st when I stuck my word/mantra beside my bathroom mirror how much more I would need it for.

One thing I have noticed is you think your word & mantra comes to you for one reason, BUT GOD has given it to you for another. The year unfolds and that word takes on new meaning. Your mantra becomes so much more.

I missed New Year retreat this year, but got to take my niece to Universal Studios for a long weekend. It was her first time flying and our first time to Universal. She is a huge Harry Potter fan so we did all the HP things. We loved Dr. Suess world, too. It was a fabulous trip!

On February 18th our world was rocked! I don’t know how else to explain it. Literally all the wind in our sails deflated in a matter of minutes. I thought I was having a heart attack only to learn later that day it was a panic attack. Made it almost 50 years without ever having one.

At this time I cannot go into the details of the what, but I can share what it did to us. When your trust is betrayed by someone you never in a million years thought would betray you, it really does rock you to your core.

I was even warned we might want to go in a different direction, but my gut never went on alert so we thought we were making the right decision. My gut has rarely failed me. It did this time.

The next few months were a blur. Kev and I went through all the feels. Deep hurt and betrayal were among the strongest feelings we had. It was like walking in quicksand and being surrounded by thick fog. We were truly stuck in that moment. How did this happen? Why is this happening?

I was having panic attacks. We were both dealing with anxiety and depression. As someone who never really had much sympathy for people with anxiety it was a tough lesson to learn. It was the first time in my life I wasn’t sure how to conquer my feelings. I ended up on medication.

The medication numbed me. For me that was worse than being anxious and depressed. I turned to God. Sometimes we forgot that he can do ANYTHING. Through prayer, reading my Bible and talking to people I trusted I was able to work through everything and find my joy again.

Next came the anger. I am not an angry person. I don’t stay mad. I couldn’t shake this anger. I ended up talking to my pastor. He said my anger is normal and very valid. Acting on anger is when it becomes sin. I began praying for God to take away my anger and bring back my zest for life.

That is when I begin to work on forgiveness. I realized forgiveness was for me and me alone. The person(s) don’t even have to know they are forgiven. Once I truly forgave I was able to start mending my heart and soul. I began to see my spark again. We were still heavy in the middle of mess, but the enemy no longer controlled me 24/7.

The gamut of emotions we faced in 2023 were more than anyone should have to deal with. One second things were happening and the next it was crickets. We were always left up in the air wondering is it over or what’s next. We were still riding a rollercoaster, but it didn’t control me anymore.

My mantra was something I said to myself multiple times a day. I had to remind myself to stay steadfast in his direction, to circle it in prayer, give it to Him and I would NOT be shaken by the circumstances of life.

As we faced this battle I prayed so much. I cried out to God. I asked him to show me if we were wrong, if there was something we needed to see and He consistently told me to remain steadfast and keep our eyes on Him. He gave me this verse again and again. James 1:2 “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness”.

We took a leap of faith and completely changed our lives moving back to Kentucky. We knew God wanted us to use our farm to glorify Him. We knew it wouldn’t be easy, but we never expected this.

In October 2022 I was in Oklahoma at friends house. A book on Kim’s desk caught my eye. She gave me that book and I read it that fall. Looking back now I see how God gave me that book to prepare me for this battle. The book was called The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. I actually used “circle in prayer” in my mantra. That was before I knew what this year would hold. That book helped me so much this year. I clearly heard God tell me this was our Jericho. Silently circle it in prayer and trust Him with this rest. When the times comes He will tell us when to shout and watch that “wall” fall!

To this day we remain STEADFAST in God. We got off the rollercoaster of emotions and put our faith in Him and His timing. We are not letting what is happening keep us from living our best life. Despite the difficulties we faced in 2023 we still had a really good year. Stay tuned for the goodness of 2023.

Treasured Year

December 3, 2024 / Kelly Bea / 1 Comment

What a year 2022 was! In world news there was a baby formula shortage, the Winter Olympics and Will Smith slapped Chris Rock. For us 2022 was a sweet year!

Waking up New Years day in our new home was the absolute best. We might of had to roll out of bed since we were sleeping on a air mattress in the guest bedroom, but we were in our little farmhouse. Our dogs could finally settle because we were in our forever home.

After a month we upgraded to a a real mattress (still on the floor)

January brought a new job for me. I was working as a Early Head Start teachers aide. By May I had changed positions and became a Family Advocate. Little did I know this job would help to me see the needs of our new little town. Kevin’s mom had her stomach surgery to remove her cancer, too. Thank you Jesus after chemo and surgery she was and remains cancer free.

January 6th we got our first snow. I was so excited! After 18 years in Alabama snow was not something we got to enjoy. It stayed cold so we got to enjoy this snow for a few days. We did some little projects around the house while we were stuck at the farm.

I also went to New Years Retreat again this year. It was something I really needed. I had no idea what our new life in Kentucky was going to look like. I just new God wanted us here. By the time I left I had goals, a word and mantra. With Pamela’s help we discovered my word for 2022 was TREASURE! It was time to treasure all that God has done in our lives.

February started with an ice storm. No thank you! Just snow please. Our kitchen cabinets finally arrived in the middle of the frozen mess. Kevin and I got them installed. Kevin started on our “custom” range hood Valentine’s day. And by custom I mean using the pallets the bricks came on to create what I pinned on Pinterest. 😎

Mid-February we experienced our first flood on the farm. Sadly, Kevin was stuck on the farm and I couldn’t get home. Luckily, the next time it flooded we were both home!

By the end of March we had the curtains hung, the island countertop was installed, we planted some trees, the master bath was finished and we got to move into our master suite. My uncle brought out an old barn post for our mantle and had his guys wrap up a couple odds and ends around the house. We also used leftover pallet wood to build our chicken coop.

April we started a garden and explored the farm. I treasured Sunday afternoon farm walks with Lollie. I found peace watching the chickens while sitting on the porch having some time with God. I could get lost in prayer while working in the garden. It was a great spring.

The house was slowly coming together. We went from a partially done home with boxes everywhere to rooms coming together and our house becoming a home. Middle of May we finally got our countertops and had a fully functioning kitchen. Kevin got the closets put together and we filled them full.

Seeing Nadya go to prom and graduate high school was a blessing, too. Our sweet Naddie Lou was all grown up and thriving. Considering all that she went through during her 19 years of life she had a great head on her shoulders and was ready to conquer the world.

The end of May Kevin turned the big 5-0! We celebrated his birthday on the farm with friends. He had a donut cake with the most amazing donuts made by the Amish.

June and July we tended to the garden, got settled in our home and explore our little town of Marion. We were starting to get some veggie from the garden and the chickens were beginning to lay eggs. Life was really great!

I drove up to St. Louis and met up with Stacey and we round tripped to Oklahoma City, OK to celebrate our friend, Kim turning 50. After that we road tripped to Table Rock Lake, MO to spent the week on a houseboat with our Big Life Sisters. What an amazing 7 days of life we had!

Next was a weekend of life with my 80’s ladies. We have been friends since the 1980’s and love our yearly get togethers. I treasure our time together. It truly is amazing when you can get together once a year and pick up right where you left off.

The garden was producing faster than we could keep up. Fortunately, we found a local church that has a food bank and started donating fresh veggies to them. We felt God saying this is why you are here. Grow more and give more. It filled us with joy to be able to do this. In October we were still filling buckets and boxes of veggies to donate to the food pantry. Thank you God we love it.

In the fall Kevin and I working on finishing the mudroom and the pantry. Finally, the house was close to being done. I was starting to make list of places I need to touch up paint and little things that needed a quick fix, but I would say the house was finally.

We finally got the piano moved to the house!

We got to celebrate Thanksgivings, but snow kept us stuck at the farm alone for Christmas. We loved it and made the most of it, but it was sad not having the boys with us. Thankfully we got to meet up with them in Nashville on the 29th. We had dinner and “parking lot Christmas”. We literally parked side by side and did a gift exchange. It will be a Christmas we will never forget.

2022 was truly a year that I treasured. Our lives had completely changed. We went from spending up to 2 hours a day commuting and working 40+ hours a week to a slower and much happier life. I was a Family Advocate at Chapel Hill working just 200 days a year from 7-3. Kevin was able to not work for a full 11 months and is now a bus driver for the head start program working just 200 days year. Life was so good and we were treasuring it.

Light Shine Bright

November 14, 2024 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

As we rolled into 2021 we were still learning to live in a covid world. Here in the United States we were dealing with election fallout and a change of Presidents. Despite all the chaos that 2020 brought I was overflowing with joy for all the good God was doing in my life.

Restoring my relationship with God had me centered and focused on living the life He has in store for me. I knew that in 2021 I wanted to shine bright for him. I wanted to be a light in the darkness. Most importantly I wanted people to look at me, see my zest for life and know it’s all because of God. With all that in mind the word ILLUMINATE became my word for 2021.

The mantra I said to myself daily: “With a heart on fire for the Lord, I will live my life with so much zest that I ILLUMINATE Him in all I do!”

Why ILLUMINATE? The definition is “make (something) visible or bright by shining light on it; light up”. I want to light up God and how amazing He is.

Toby Mac has a song called “Lights Shine Bright” that was my theme song for that year. Here is the first verse:

I wanna magnify your light
I wanna reflect the sun
Cut like precious diamonds
With the colors by the millions
This is the only world we know
And for now this rental's our home
If we gonna be a reflection
Gotta make this third rock glow
(Just so you know)
Lights shine bright everywhere we go
Music for the people to illuminate the soul

I went to New Year Retreat in January of 2021. This is where it was confirmed that illuminate was my word. During retreat I really was able to connect and open up about my dreams. When I left retreat I had my word, mantra and goals for 2021. I also left with some forever friends and sisters in Christ.

The end of January I ran my first marathon with my 6AM Hotties there to cheer me on. These are the girls I connected with during the height of covid in 2020. We worked out together every morning at 6AM. The only goal for my first marathon was to finish. Based on my 22 mile training run I was thinking I could finish in 5 hours and 5 minutes.

The marathon started off in the low 60’s and it was raining. I was happy about this, because I run well when it’s raining. Around mile 14 the rain stopped, the sun shined bright and the humidity of the south kicked in. This wasn’t good for me. I get migraines when I overheat and I was overheating big time. My pace slowed down and I was struggling big when I hit mile 20.

Just as my mind was telling me I couldn’t finish my phone rang. It was my friends, Pamela and Jessica calling to cheer me on. During their pep talk I cried and laughed. They gave me what I needed to finish!

Just before I hit mile 26 I heard my hotties cheering for me. A couple of them ran with me giving me that burst of energy to finish strong. I crossed the finish line in 5 hours and 35 minutes.

Things were going great at work. I was an administrative assistant on a government contract and in training as a ACPSO (Assistant Corporate Program Security Officer).

On the other hand, my husband was miserable at his job. He had been staring at code since 1997 and just needed a break. My goal was to get to a place in my career that Kevin could quit his job and go do something else.

God had other plans. He dropped the first little spark one night in May. Kevin and I were looking at old pictures on TV and one of our family farm in Kentucky popped up. I made some comment about how this is the spot I always wanted to build a hunting cabin and he agreed. That little spark caught fire and burned bright in a matter of months.

Seriously, by September we were closing on our house in Alabama and moving in with my mother in law in Kentucky. We had our spot picked and we were talking to my uncle about building our little farmhouse.

We felt God’s guidance every step of the way. He was lighting our path. We knew He had big plans for us in Kentucky.

This blog started because I felt like God was telling me to share our story. It was another way to ILLUMINATE Him. You can go back to the beginning of my blog for all the details of how 2021 unfolded.

As 2021 came to an end we were soaking up all that God was doing in our lives. On New Year’s Eve we moved into the back bedroom and guest bathroom of our little farmhouse. Although we still had a ways to go to finish the house we sure were excited to kick off New Years 2022 waking up on the farm!

Where we are…

February 20, 2022February 20, 2022 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

Dang it’s been a hot minute since I blogged! Life got crazy busy and my routine is nonexistent, so that completely messes everything up!

Since the last time I blogged we celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years! We partially moved into our house. My mother-in-law had her stomach surgery, is recovering and is cancer free! We also had our first snow, an ice storm and got so much rain in one day the roads flooded. I couldn’t get home!

Kevin and I have done a lot ourselves. We insulated the house. We painted and painted and painted some more. Still have some more to go. We installed our kitchen cabinets just last week. Next is countertops and finishing up some loose ends. After that we hope to fully move in and get settled.

Here are a few progress pictures since the last time I posted in November. I plan to start posting about our projects and as we finish each room.