Childlike Faith

December 29, 2024 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

Que Matchbox Twenty circa 1996 “its 3AM and I must be lonely”! That song always pops in my head when I can’t sleep. Only its 1AM and can’t wind down from an amazing day at church. Between the powerful message from Aaron and the church full of children singing this evening my soul is on fire.

As I was laying in bed talking to God about what an amazing day it was I felt Him say you are like those little children. This year your faith has flourished. It is childlike faith you have and I don’t want you to ever lose that.

Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. ³Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. ⁴So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.” Matthew 18:2-3

What does it mean to have childlike faith? Children trust and believe in their parents. We should trust and believe in God that same way. Think about it! Before the world got a hold of us we fully believed everything our parents told us. We believed in Santa, the Easter bunny and tooth faith.

I grew up in church and surrounded by people of faith. I was saved and baptized at 10. Over the years I lost that childlike faith. My faith was surface level. I said I had faith in God, but took care of things myself. Sometimes it worked for me and sometimes it didn’t.

Over the last five years God has been working on me. If you have been following our story you know in 2021 we took a huge leap of faith by changing our entire lives and moving back to Kentucky. We had complete faith that God brought us back here and was going to use our farm for good.

The unthinkable happened to us in 2023. At first we let it take us down. With God we fought our way back to living life. To be honest when your trust is broken the way that ours was God is the only person you can have complete trust in.

So when 2024 rolled around God gave me the word FLOURISH. The definition of flourish is to grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as the result of a particularly favorable environment. My mantra is “today I wake up ready to soak up all God’s nourishment so that I can navigate my day fearlessly and courageously! I am diving in and cultivating all God has available for me. Go ahead and blow my mind with all your great plans. I am ready to fiercely flourish!

In January when God gave me this word my goals were to grow my faith, develop a healthy lifestyle and grow the most amazing garden.

Well, the garden sucked this year! There isn’t another way to describe it. We went from too much rain to super humidity. It was very disappointing, but a lesson in how to do better next year.

My health and fitness never got off the rollercoaster. I did drop 10 of the 30 pounds I needed to lose. I have kept those 10 off. It’s a struggle and I will continue to fight and find balance.

My faith skyrocketed! In May a flip switched. I literally went from saying I had faith that God was taking care of things to fully believing it. The more time I spent in prayer, reading his word and listening to Him the less I worried and the more I believed He is in control and His timing is perfect.

I also believe I surrounded myself with the right people. My friends, my family and my coworkers covered us in prayer and spoke positivity to us. They reminded me God has this and I just need to live my life.

Its hard to describe the change in me. For months it consumed my life and then it didn’t. I know it didn’t happen overnight. Looking back I can see the tiny ways God was bringing me back.

The more I put Him first, the less I worried. The more I talked to Him, the more I found my joy for life. The more I read my Bible the more I saw how amazing our God is and my faith grew. I begin to give it to Him more and more each day. I was flourishing in the best way possible.

Proverbs 11:28 “Trust in your money and down you go! But the godly flourish like leaves in the spring.”

Psalm 52:8 “But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in the loving devotion of God forever and ever”.

Proverbs 14:11 “The house of the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent of the upright will flourish.”

Because of my child-like faith I went to pastor, Aaron and told him the dream I felt God placed on my heart. I told him how I felt God was saying go all in! Don’t just have a food pantry, but a free farmers market, classes on budgeting, learning to make the most of your food box, canning, freezing and baking. Lets not just have a food pantry, but a toiletry closet.

To be honest I was so excited I kind had diarrhea of the mouth and just threw it all at it him. I was overflowing with excitement. He once told me he loved big ideas. He said if you do the work we can make it happen. Here I am send me! A few days later I sent him a detailed email of my dream and my why. He said, “we can do this!”

As I child I always loved the story of Jesus feeding 5000 with two loaves of bread and five fish. That is where I got the idea of calling the ministry 5&2. While brainstorming with God I was looking up verses and came across 1 Peter 5:2. I was sharing the passion translation of the verse with my friend, Pamela and she said “Kelly did you pick this one because of the 5:2”. I never even noticed until she said something. For me that reinforced calling it 5&2.

In November our church did a toiletry drive and we filled a closet full! We are so excited to add that in January. I am very fortunate that God put me at Marion Baptist Church. Julie and Kody have the same passion as I do for food and helping people. I can’t wait to see what God does through us in 2025.

1 Peter 5:2 says, “to be compassionate shepherds who tenderly care for God’s flock and who feed them well, for you have the responsibility to guide, protect, and oversee. Consider it a joyous pleasure and not merely a religious duty. Lead from the heart under God’s leadership—not as a way to gain finances dishonestly but as a way to eagerly and cheerfully serve”.

Living in the Storm

December 20, 2024 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

In the most difficult times you can find opportunity. An opportunity is defined as “a set of circumstances that make it possible to do something”. In 2023 we learned to live in the middle of the storm.

I read that Toby Keith and Clint Eastwood were in a golf tournament together and Clint told Toby, “I just get up every morning and go out. And I don’t let the old man in”. What a way to live! It inspired me! I don’t let the enemy in!

Sunshine and nature are two of the most amazing things you can do for yourself when you are in a dark place. I took advantage our farm, got out and explored as much as could. Even on the coldest day the sunshine warms the soul. It’s also a time for me to talk to God and listen to God.

One of my close friends got engaged and married in 2023. Being there for the engagement, bachelorette dinner, wedding and reception were highlights of my year.

Visiting our boys and friends for a weekend in Alabama was so good for us. When we felt God calling us back to Kentucky one of the hardest things was knowing our boys would stay in Alabama. It had been home to them since they were 4 and 6. Leaving behind friends you have known for years wasn’t easy either, so the visit was good for us.

We invested in our farm. We grew another amazing garden. Built a nice chicken coop and got more chickens. Spending time in the garden is like therapy for me. I think it was good for Kevin, too. Nothing like getting a little dirt under your nails.

I went on a couple Big Life Retreats. Spending time with Pamela, Catherine and my Big Life Sisters fills my cup to overflowing. When we are together we live big and love hard. I know these girls pray circles around me, too.

I got to go Paragould and watch my friends girls dance recital and spend some quality time with some amazing friends. I took my nieces to St. Louis for a fun weekend and we met up with my friend, Stacey who took us on a river paddle.

I celebrated my 50th Birthday with a mermazing birthday party! Woohoo to 50 years of life! I plan to live even bigger this next 50 years. Yes, at least 50 more years! I have a goal of living to a healthy and active 100+!

We started attending Marion Baptist Church summer 2023. Its the first time since 2019 that we regularly attended in person church. We had been doing online church for so long we forgot what it was like to have a real church family.

In October I left my job at Chapel Hill to work at Marion Baptist Church. An opportunity came along and I jumped on it. I was able to start helping in the Food Pantry that we had been donating fresh veggies and eggs to since we moved to Marion. God was reminding me why we were here and where my focus needed to be.

Kevin and I took a quick trip to the beach in the fall. We did a lot of relaxing and napping on that trip. I spent a lot of time on the balcony with my Bible. I believe that was where our outlook started to shift. We prayed and asked God to show us if we were wrong and He only reinforced that we were not and to remain steadfast in Him and His timing.

There was a shift in perspective that fall. During this very difficult set of circumstances we learned to live with joy and accept the peace that can only come from God when you put total trust in Him.

When you truly put your faith in God and accept that He is in control you can live your life in peace. You can be full of joy knowing that its all going to work out in His timing. We got the opportunity to be grateful for this storm.

The most difficult year…

December 12, 2024December 12, 2024 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

In 2023 there was the awesomeness of the Eras Tour and the devastation of Maui fires. The legendary Tina Turner died and Barbie made a huge comeback. Throughout the entire year it was full of highs and lows. For us it was much the same. I can honestly say it was the hardest year of our lives.

The year started off great! I knew I wanted to focus on my health and my relationship with God. I treasured 2022 a little too much when it came to indulging in food. I was the biggest I had ever been and I was miserable. When you go from running multiple half marathons a year to not having the energy to walk a mile you know its time to get your butt in gear.

The word God gave me was perfect! “Today I am STEADFAST in His direction as I faithfully imagine all He has planned for me. I am circling it in prayer and putting it into action. I will not be shaken by circumstances, but remain loyal to God, myself and my commitments!”

I mean look at the mantra! I was ready to tackle my health and grow my relationship with Him. Nothing was gonna shake me or break me! I was ready! Little did I know on January 1st when I stuck my word/mantra beside my bathroom mirror how much more I would need it for.

One thing I have noticed is you think your word & mantra comes to you for one reason, BUT GOD has given it to you for another. The year unfolds and that word takes on new meaning. Your mantra becomes so much more.

I missed New Year retreat this year, but got to take my niece to Universal Studios for a long weekend. It was her first time flying and our first time to Universal. She is a huge Harry Potter fan so we did all the HP things. We loved Dr. Suess world, too. It was a fabulous trip!

On February 18th our world was rocked! I don’t know how else to explain it. Literally all the wind in our sails deflated in a matter of minutes. I thought I was having a heart attack only to learn later that day it was a panic attack. Made it almost 50 years without ever having one.

At this time I cannot go into the details of the what, but I can share what it did to us. When your trust is betrayed by someone you never in a million years thought would betray you, it really does rock you to your core.

I was even warned we might want to go in a different direction, but my gut never went on alert so we thought we were making the right decision. My gut has rarely failed me. It did this time.

The next few months were a blur. Kev and I went through all the feels. Deep hurt and betrayal were among the strongest feelings we had. It was like walking in quicksand and being surrounded by thick fog. We were truly stuck in that moment. How did this happen? Why is this happening?

I was having panic attacks. We were both dealing with anxiety and depression. As someone who never really had much sympathy for people with anxiety it was a tough lesson to learn. It was the first time in my life I wasn’t sure how to conquer my feelings. I ended up on medication.

The medication numbed me. For me that was worse than being anxious and depressed. I turned to God. Sometimes we forgot that he can do ANYTHING. Through prayer, reading my Bible and talking to people I trusted I was able to work through everything and find my joy again.

Next came the anger. I am not an angry person. I don’t stay mad. I couldn’t shake this anger. I ended up talking to my pastor. He said my anger is normal and very valid. Acting on anger is when it becomes sin. I began praying for God to take away my anger and bring back my zest for life.

That is when I begin to work on forgiveness. I realized forgiveness was for me and me alone. The person(s) don’t even have to know they are forgiven. Once I truly forgave I was able to start mending my heart and soul. I began to see my spark again. We were still heavy in the middle of mess, but the enemy no longer controlled me 24/7.

The gamut of emotions we faced in 2023 were more than anyone should have to deal with. One second things were happening and the next it was crickets. We were always left up in the air wondering is it over or what’s next. We were still riding a rollercoaster, but it didn’t control me anymore.

My mantra was something I said to myself multiple times a day. I had to remind myself to stay steadfast in his direction, to circle it in prayer, give it to Him and I would NOT be shaken by the circumstances of life.

As we faced this battle I prayed so much. I cried out to God. I asked him to show me if we were wrong, if there was something we needed to see and He consistently told me to remain steadfast and keep our eyes on Him. He gave me this verse again and again. James 1:2 “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness”.

We took a leap of faith and completely changed our lives moving back to Kentucky. We knew God wanted us to use our farm to glorify Him. We knew it wouldn’t be easy, but we never expected this.

In October 2022 I was in Oklahoma at friends house. A book on Kim’s desk caught my eye. She gave me that book and I read it that fall. Looking back now I see how God gave me that book to prepare me for this battle. The book was called The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. I actually used “circle in prayer” in my mantra. That was before I knew what this year would hold. That book helped me so much this year. I clearly heard God tell me this was our Jericho. Silently circle it in prayer and trust Him with this rest. When the times comes He will tell us when to shout and watch that “wall” fall!

To this day we remain STEADFAST in God. We got off the rollercoaster of emotions and put our faith in Him and His timing. We are not letting what is happening keep us from living our best life. Despite the difficulties we faced in 2023 we still had a really good year. Stay tuned for the goodness of 2023.

Treasured Year

December 3, 2024 / Kelly Bea / 1 Comment

What a year 2022 was! In world news there was a baby formula shortage, the Winter Olympics and Will Smith slapped Chris Rock. For us 2022 was a sweet year!

Waking up New Years day in our new home was the absolute best. We might of had to roll out of bed since we were sleeping on a air mattress in the guest bedroom, but we were in our little farmhouse. Our dogs could finally settle because we were in our forever home.

After a month we upgraded to a a real mattress (still on the floor)

January brought a new job for me. I was working as a Early Head Start teachers aide. By May I had changed positions and became a Family Advocate. Little did I know this job would help to me see the needs of our new little town. Kevin’s mom had her stomach surgery to remove her cancer, too. Thank you Jesus after chemo and surgery she was and remains cancer free.

January 6th we got our first snow. I was so excited! After 18 years in Alabama snow was not something we got to enjoy. It stayed cold so we got to enjoy this snow for a few days. We did some little projects around the house while we were stuck at the farm.

I also went to New Years Retreat again this year. It was something I really needed. I had no idea what our new life in Kentucky was going to look like. I just new God wanted us here. By the time I left I had goals, a word and mantra. With Pamela’s help we discovered my word for 2022 was TREASURE! It was time to treasure all that God has done in our lives.

February started with an ice storm. No thank you! Just snow please. Our kitchen cabinets finally arrived in the middle of the frozen mess. Kevin and I got them installed. Kevin started on our “custom” range hood Valentine’s day. And by custom I mean using the pallets the bricks came on to create what I pinned on Pinterest. 😎

Mid-February we experienced our first flood on the farm. Sadly, Kevin was stuck on the farm and I couldn’t get home. Luckily, the next time it flooded we were both home!

By the end of March we had the curtains hung, the island countertop was installed, we planted some trees, the master bath was finished and we got to move into our master suite. My uncle brought out an old barn post for our mantle and had his guys wrap up a couple odds and ends around the house. We also used leftover pallet wood to build our chicken coop.

April we started a garden and explored the farm. I treasured Sunday afternoon farm walks with Lollie. I found peace watching the chickens while sitting on the porch having some time with God. I could get lost in prayer while working in the garden. It was a great spring.

The house was slowly coming together. We went from a partially done home with boxes everywhere to rooms coming together and our house becoming a home. Middle of May we finally got our countertops and had a fully functioning kitchen. Kevin got the closets put together and we filled them full.

Seeing Nadya go to prom and graduate high school was a blessing, too. Our sweet Naddie Lou was all grown up and thriving. Considering all that she went through during her 19 years of life she had a great head on her shoulders and was ready to conquer the world.

The end of May Kevin turned the big 5-0! We celebrated his birthday on the farm with friends. He had a donut cake with the most amazing donuts made by the Amish.

June and July we tended to the garden, got settled in our home and explore our little town of Marion. We were starting to get some veggie from the garden and the chickens were beginning to lay eggs. Life was really great!

I drove up to St. Louis and met up with Stacey and we round tripped to Oklahoma City, OK to celebrate our friend, Kim turning 50. After that we road tripped to Table Rock Lake, MO to spent the week on a houseboat with our Big Life Sisters. What an amazing 7 days of life we had!

Next was a weekend of life with my 80’s ladies. We have been friends since the 1980’s and love our yearly get togethers. I treasure our time together. It truly is amazing when you can get together once a year and pick up right where you left off.

The garden was producing faster than we could keep up. Fortunately, we found a local church that has a food bank and started donating fresh veggies to them. We felt God saying this is why you are here. Grow more and give more. It filled us with joy to be able to do this. In October we were still filling buckets and boxes of veggies to donate to the food pantry. Thank you God we love it.

In the fall Kevin and I working on finishing the mudroom and the pantry. Finally, the house was close to being done. I was starting to make list of places I need to touch up paint and little things that needed a quick fix, but I would say the house was finally.

We finally got the piano moved to the house!

We got to celebrate Thanksgivings, but snow kept us stuck at the farm alone for Christmas. We loved it and made the most of it, but it was sad not having the boys with us. Thankfully we got to meet up with them in Nashville on the 29th. We had dinner and “parking lot Christmas”. We literally parked side by side and did a gift exchange. It will be a Christmas we will never forget.

2022 was truly a year that I treasured. Our lives had completely changed. We went from spending up to 2 hours a day commuting and working 40+ hours a week to a slower and much happier life. I was a Family Advocate at Chapel Hill working just 200 days a year from 7-3. Kevin was able to not work for a full 11 months and is now a bus driver for the head start program working just 200 days year. Life was so good and we were treasuring it.

Where we are…

February 20, 2022February 20, 2022 / Kelly Bea / Leave a comment

Dang it’s been a hot minute since I blogged! Life got crazy busy and my routine is nonexistent, so that completely messes everything up!

Since the last time I blogged we celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years! We partially moved into our house. My mother-in-law had her stomach surgery, is recovering and is cancer free! We also had our first snow, an ice storm and got so much rain in one day the roads flooded. I couldn’t get home!

Kevin and I have done a lot ourselves. We insulated the house. We painted and painted and painted some more. Still have some more to go. We installed our kitchen cabinets just last week. Next is countertops and finishing up some loose ends. After that we hope to fully move in and get settled.

Here are a few progress pictures since the last time I posted in November. I plan to start posting about our projects and as we finish each room.